Brown eyed girl

By tarnished · Jun 17, 2009 · ·

  1. She came with the tides,
    her scent in every grain,
    her face in every cloud.

    She always left me
    and I wondered why
    I always went back.

    One year I lost her
    Amongst the crashing waves
    And the painted skys.

    The crying dove whispered his tale
    Of how she sung my name
    When she drifted away

    And I heard it from the seashells
    Of how she begged for me by night
    And it was all to late

    That I realized I was her moon
    And she was my tides
    Until she was drifting to find another star

Comments

  1. Kirvee
    That's beautiful! My only suggestion is that it be "And it was all too late".

    Other than that, very beautiful poem :-D.
  2. becca
    WOW, that was great. You have great poetry talent!
  3. Only Sissies Write
    Yeah, there's that one typographical error, but otherwise this is fantastic. I can't come up with any improvements now that I'm done with it, which is rare. I'm always careful around poems about love because, being a cliche subject, there's a lot of cliche ways to write about it. You found a new way (well...new enough, I mean I haven't read everything that's ever been written so I would know for sure).
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