Child

As the impending doom of my birthday approaches I realize I no longer wish to age. As I grow older it seems that things are slipping from my grasp. No, I'm not that old, not even old enough for a midlife crisis but at 30 I feel that I haven't really done anything important. It feels like the seven years I spent in the Army was stolen from my life. I didn't particularly hate the Army nor did I really enjoy it. My parents say they were proud of me but for some reason I don't care.

When I first got to Afghanistan there was a stigma that American soldiers were somehow unintelligent (I mean no offense by this) I was soon schooled by them. Having them lead us around their area of operation but there was something glaring that I couldnt quite place my finger on.

What was it that I couldn't place my finger on you ask? It was this: Here I was looking at 18-23 year old men, they had learned some very hard lessons and had to grow up real fast. In my own platoon there were 43 year old soldiers and unaccustomed to the deed of battle.

I wonder if that is what I look like now to people my wife invites over. Do they see a 30 year old unaccomplished individual? Most likely not because we don't keep those types of friends - superficial ones- at least to my knowledge.

I will never have a clever saying to sum it all up, to sum up my life. Heck I cant even think of a few clever sayings to be witty. I do love the written word though. I realize that through written word my life can pass on to my children. That some of my life lessons can assist them. Imagine the past where there were no cameras, no digital age. If your mother or father died before you were born, it was up to some one else to describe them to you. There was no 'proof' so to speak.

I forgot what the main reason for me writing all this was. Its just a blog, something maybe that someone else will read and can learn from. Maybe not, hell with twitch of your finger you can pass all this by, my plea's will be nothing but a memory.