Chudz Blog 6

Chudz Blog: (Entry 6) Beer Quest – Part 4

(The Scene: Stars shine overhead as a nameless field swims gradually into view. Looking closer, we notice fresh scars deep in the shadowed earth and see three inert figures sprawled amongst the tall grasses. Then they begin to stir.)

Mr. B rises on four unsteady legs and begins kissing the ground repeatedly.

Chudz mumbles: Jeebus Christ, why don't you two just get a room.

Mr. B chuckles.

CB stumbles upright, tendrils of smoke rising from various parts of his body.

Chudz says: You okay, CB?

CB answers in the affirmative, his voice going up and down in pitch as he does so.

Chudz chuckles

Mr. B remembers something important and goes completely rigid.

Chudz says: Uh oh!

CB says: What's wrong?

Mr. B removes his flight helmet and beanie then dons a long, blonde wig, before snarling menacingly.

Chudz says: Oh *BEEP!*

Chudz looks around and notices the mechanical hand/censor button combo lying nearby and picks it up with a grin.

(The scene fades as our trio is hoofing it toward the far end of the field and hopefully the nearest liquor store as well.)


(The Scene: Not ten minutes have passed and a phantom figure appears at the edge of the field.)

Goldilocks pauses, going to one knee, and silently surveys the darkened landscape ahead, taking in every detail.

Goldilocks grumbles: That damn bear has more lives than a cat.


(A quick scene-shift brings us to a dirt road that Deputy Jasper is slowly driving along, the headlights of his cruiser piercing the night's gloom. The bumpy road is bordered on one side by a forest and the other by a farmer's cornfield. He's on the lookout for the UFO crash that several nearby residents have reported in 911 calls.)

Deputy Jasper mutters: UFO, schmoo eff oohhhh.

Chudz, Mr. B and CB suddenly tear across the road right in front of Deputy Jasper forcing him to slam on the brakes.

Deputy Jasper's vehicle comes to a dusty halt, and he hears screaming fading into the depths of the cornfield. It's vaguely reminiscent of how that kid sounded in the Home Alone movie.

Deputy Jasper mulls over the image that was just framed in his headlights, which was comprised of a fat-guy carrying a mechanical hand that was pointing into the cornfield; followed by an overweight bear wearing a long, blonde wig with a propeller-beanie on top; followed by some type of smoking robot.

Deputy Jasper delcares: Holy cow, there really was a UFO crash!

(The scene fades as Deputy Jasper gets out of his parked cruiser and makes a call in to dispatch.)