Crossing the invisible barrier

I've talked a good bit here about dealing with real life versus your writing life, and how stress has sometimes disabled me. Recently, the things that put the most stress on me have gone into over drive. I'm going to give myself a little pat on the shoulder here, and say that no I didn't crawl into my little hole and whine about it. I've handled it quite well I think. But that's not the point of this blog. What is you ask? Well, in dealing with those things that add stress, I decided that some things in my life have to change, drastically change. I took a step back separating myself from working in a place that isn't mine, and made an effort to move in a direction down the path that I want to be on. Namely with my writing.

I contacted an editor a friend had recommended who mentors newbie authors. She's a great lady, with multiple publishing cred to her name. I'm constantly surprised how many people like her we have here in this rural back water place I call home. Anyway, she recommended I branch out of my current writing group a bit, and make an effort to enter contests, and the like. I've been hesitant to do the latter, as self-doubt tends to bite me pretty hard. I know we all go through phases where we doubt ourselves as writers, but mine seem like deep wells where not only am I fighting my own doubts, but my family's expectations of doing something practical with my life. But practical get's you a boat load of stress, and no happier in the long run. I don't want to do the practical thing any more.

Anyway, I'm staring down that invisible barrier within myself, and thinking for the first time in my life... I want this. I can do this... and only I can stand in my way. So I plan to put more effort into my writing, to put more of myself out there to grow my craft into something bigger, better than it is now.

Sometimes, maybe more often than we'd like... we just have to remind ourselves to close our eyes, take a breath, then take that step forward.