Dear Dr. Seuss, (deceased)

I truly love your stories. my parents read them to me as a kid before bed, as I now read them to mine. But as I reflect on the characters, and morals or the stories I can't help but think to myself some things were missing? for example; you touch upon the importance of responsibility and cleaning up after yourself in "the cat in the hat", but you conjure up a fantastic cleaning machine to do the work for you. This may present a mixed message, I mean you don’t even really yell or threaten anyone enough to be taken seriously do you! I recall cleaning up always really sucked and my parents would always make me clean up the cat puke...yucky! Perhaps a note this effect in future publications would be helpful?

None of your stories really helped me out in my impressionable teen age years. oh! it was fun imagining bottomless pits and strange two headed creatures, but all I wanted was advice on how to get a date. Where were you then? Where were you when the teacher asked that young man to step to the front of the class, and he couldn't ....literally...due to factors of embarrassing pubescent boy biology! I would say you really missed the boat on that one Seuss! Or when I did finally manage to land that ever important first date, what next? Some help on the mechanics of ladies fashion would have been on the mark- sir! Maybe you could have written a series on sex education? The detailed illustrations alone would have been worth a read.

You did convey important themes about the evils of big industry, and the sensitivity of our precious natural environment. Those ideas were truly ahead of their time. So was the idea of having two mommies! Wait one minute....that might have slipped past you. Social breakdown of the classic family model. Now that is a compelling subject. Think of all the neat material available write about unfolding in front of you? Two mommies, two daddies, one mommy one daddy, one new mommy and two new brothers and sisters. One mommy and one daddy who then became a mommy. Try explaining that one! Possibly these relationship dynamics of mommy and daddy would have been fun. Certainly useful. Easy enough to incorporate into your typical limerick, allow me to illustrate;

Dropped off at the rail yard for ice cream, and games

Left for one hour to play on the trains
In from the left, lines of men, with frowns on their faces
Out from the right, big smiles in their places.
Murals of girls in small suits, swinging on swings
Makes kids wonder what goes on in those things?​

"Curious Caboose" might have made a great title for a book like that. The debauchery of our perfect families is real, and I felt very under prepared to react to this aspect of life. Some more truistic telling of life may have made all the difference? I think in some way I blame you. Too little, too late Dr. For I was lost and looking for direction.

You never attempted to address big politics either. I mean how is that movie stars can become heads of state anyway. Can they really be taken seriously? I am continuously perplexed at taxation? It never ceases to amaze me how much of my hard earned money gets sucked up into the government! They claim it is for the greater good but where does it go? Why is it that illegal immigrants frequently get more social support from the very government that’s trying to boot them out, than the poor people whom are rightfully being oppressed! Could you not have allocated one page to this?

Dr. Seuss, it is a shame that you are no longer with us so that you could rectify your errors and omissions. Did you ever think to explore a series books targeted at the aging population of kids you reached. No? "Maybe next year" is what you must have said to yourself. Must have! I have to believe that you planned to explain it all to me, but you just never got round to it.

Signed,
Perturbed!

P.S. my "Lorax" underwear is really itchy and does not at all live up to the hype.