dear Laptop

English is not my native language so kindly pardon all the mistakes I've made.
Dear LT,
Have anyone been so desperate to be around someone that they start linking every random sound and movement to that special someone’s presence. I’ve been doing that since yesterday… or may b longer… with every random or suspicious sound I hear I start thinking that its my dad. That he might be around us some where… looking after us as always.. I don’t believe that at all … I don’t even wish that at all… he had been doing that all his life now its time for him to relax and sleep and don't even remember us. It's time for him to be in heaven with his parents (May GOD grant him heaven)... but that's the only stupid thing that pops up into my mind when at night or even in day time, i hear sounds that are not usual...like last night i heard a sound like someone was walking...everyone else was asleep no one was awake... what could have caused that sound i don't know and i don't care ...but m loosing my mind for sure because first thing in my head was....dad's footsteps used to sound like that....another wishful thinking.... Dad never liked leaving the house unattended, he always had someone to look after the house when we all used to go out on family gatherings... today we had to go on a gathering like that and there was no one to look after the house ...but what the heck it was just a few hours so we locked all the door and when we were about to leave the exiting door was locked from the outside hehehehe.... all of just stood there for a few second staring at each other with confusion....i don't know what everyone else was thinking but what i was thinking....yeah that's right....Dad doesn't want us to leave the house unattended ...i laughed in my mind on my own stupid theory... so to sum that up.. dear LT i am getting insane for sure ... all this keeps reminding me ..and reminding me with more intensity that he is gone and he's never going to come back ...all this makes me want to scream....all this makes me want to cry like a little child ..a child who had everything he ever wished for, who had everything he ever demand, who had everything he ever needed without even asking and now the thing he needed the most is gone and he know he cant get it back....dear LT my heart screams like that stubborn child... u can't say or do anything to console...because it's just a child it wont understand the complexity of life.