Explanation

By The Freshmaker · Oct 10, 2008 · 552 · 3
  1. This is a more in-depth explanation to the situation I alluded to in my last blog.

    So, I love my boyfriend very much. He's funny, playful, smart, and good at pretty much anything he tries. In almost every aspect, we are perfect together. However, he is a couple years younger than I am. I feel like a lot of our relationship (3.5 years) has been me waiting for him. Waiting for him to get into school, to get his driver's license, to save up money, to be ready to get our own place. I'm ready to be an adult now, and I don't know that he is.

    I have a friend who I like very much. He doesn't exactly click with me like my boyfriend does, but we have a lot in common. Plus he's my age, he's in his fourth year of college for civil engineering, and he lives by himself. We talk a lot, and often our conversations last for four or more hours. He's wanted a relationship with me for a long time, but I was never available.

    I'm at a crossroads. I can see being happy with either one of these guys, but for totally different reasons. I know that, if I do break up with my current boyfriend, I won't immediately jump into another relationship. It's not smart, and it's not practical. However, I don't know that I do want to break up with him. He hasn't exactly done anything wrong. However, I can wait forever for him to grow up.

    In the past couple weeks, I've changed my mind about this several times, and I can't seem to come to a satisfactory conclusion. I feel like I need to decide what I'm going to do, or go completely insane.

Comments

Sort Comments:

Sort Comments By

  1. Still Life
    However, I can wait forever for him to grow up.

    Fresh, it's not "forever". You're 22, so he's what? 18? You're both obviously still young. (I'm barely 23 myself). My bf is a lot older than I am (5 years), and he's the one doing a lot of waiting, so I might be coming off biased. While I'm not here to lecture, 3.5 years is a small bridge to gap compared to 5 years, and for sure, my bf has had to wait up for me on a lot of things. However, we had a good long talk about it, and we're still together after 5 years.

    I believe it's best to talk to him and plan out how (not just him, but) the both of you will go about attaining your goals: getting a place and all. Are these both of your goals or just yours alone? You need to make sure.

    A lot of what you're telling us revolves around you and your feelings. But have you told your bf how you felt? This stuff doesn't involve your "convenient friend" (and though you probably don't like to hear it put that way, that's how it seems to me), since it's a private matter between you and your bf. These aren't questions/thoughts for you to answer to me, but things you might want to consider.

    TALK TO YOUR BF ABOUT IT BEFORE THROWING IN THE TOIL, MMKAY?
    Still Life, Oct 10, 2008
  2. Iulia
    I'm sorry you're feeling that way. Try not to stress out about it, and make sure you don't confuse friendship with love, or loving a person with being in love with them. I think you may love your boyfriend, but if you were really in love with him, you wouldn't even be questioning whether or not to break up. You're still young, and you don't have to make the decision right away - even though it seems like a big deal now, you still have time, and it's not as bad as it seems.
    Iulia, Oct 10, 2008
  3. marina
    Both guys are out of sync with you. That's a problem. It's not going to change...at least not any time soon.

    You need to go look for your bliss.

    But I think you already know that.
    marina, Oct 10, 2008
To make a comment simply sign up and become a member!
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Accept Learn More...
    Dismiss Notice