Family Facebook Party

By paperbackwriter · Jan 16, 2019 · ·
  1. Oh looks like someone has started a thread over there. What's it about ? Oh of course. The family scapegoat. Family member X. We all have a grievance against Family Member X. What a great way of creating solidarity for the rest of us, and making sure we aren't the family pariah. . Distancing ourselves from such childish behaviour. That makes me feel so mature.
    Oh look here. Someone is sharing photos of their holiday to Bali. Getting lots of likes. That's one sure fire way to make sure the rest of us are envious and wish we were making the most of our life instead of taking boring little local vacations.
    Oh Family Member X is sharing why he looks so thin and much younger than his years. This guy really knows how to rub it in. He's discovered "THE diet". We all simply must listen and emulate, otherwise we are doomed to superficial fatness for ever.
    Family Member L is now telling us how her child graduated from High School valedictorian, is destined to become an astro physicist. Not that she wants us to ooh and ahh over her brilliant child's optimistic future. Or take any credit for his dynamic DNA.
    You ponder whether you should share how you have learnt the chords to Happy Birthday on guitar. But change your mind when you realise they might ask you to sing it.
    Foxxx and Magus like this.

Comments

  1. Magus
    It's weird seeing the profile of someone you know really well on Facebook. It really solidifies in my mind how fake of a platform all these social media sites are. Even this one to an extent. But we get to hide behind a fake name and picture here at least, so lying doesn't seem necessary. I deleted facebook a few years ago, it served only to make me depressed. Of the small 150 "friends" I did have in my friends list, I only considered 2 or 3 to be actual friends. And two of them turned out not to be. Facebook for family? We never talk anyways, it's like you say, it just becomes a competition to show whose life is better, even if it's not their intent. The one who's worse off at that given time will always be bitter when sibling A is living the American dream.
      paperbackwriter and Foxxx like this.
  2. jim onion
    There were two questions (with different variations) that I began asking myself.

    1. Why am I sharing these posts? Or conversely, why are others sharing their posts?

    2. Who fucking cares? Or conversely, why would I care?

    Lo and behold! I no longer use Facebook or Instagram.

    Like Magus said, more often than not it made me feel depressed, didn't make me feel any more "social" or "connected", and was a huge waste of time. Now it's just a paradise for advertisers.

    You ever start telling somebody something and wonder why the fuck you're telling them, and why in the fuck they'd even care, and your mind comes up blank?

    Me too. Welcome to Facebook.
      paperbackwriter and Magus like this.
  3. paperbackwriter
    I'm so used to virtual reality that I prefer it to IRL communication. That sounds sad doesn't it.
    At least I can edit or even erase a comment or response I make. in real life I put my foot in my mouth all the time. I don't have time to discern what manipulation or fakeness might be going on. This all sounds quite paranoid and negative. yeah well that's me and Im getting worse every day. :)
    Virtual reality is like the shadow concept in Plato's republic. We settle for less or we prefer it to the real thing.
  4. Solar
    Well, the Cave Allegory in the Republic is about how many steps removed our perception is from truer realities. So the cave-dwellers aren't choosing the shadows over the real things, rather it's all they know. They actually think the shadows of puppets are the real things. But they're actually two-steps away from reality.

    If they were to be released and were to turn round and see that the shadows came from puppets, they might think that the puppets are the realities and hence be one step away. Then if they were to leave the cave and see the real things and not shadows of puppets, they would have arrived at a truer reality.

    So to go further with Plato's thinking. Art actually takes us another step away from reality. Plato had this idea of Forms, that is, perfect universal blueprints that exist beyond the world of decay and represent the truest reality. So when a craftsman makes a table, the table is one step away from reality because it's a crude representation of the Form. Then when an artist draws the table, the image is two steps away from reality.

    We are born in the cave. We think things are reality when in fact they're not, they're poor imitations of reality. We become experts at these false realities and congratulate ourselves on being so knowledgeable about shadows. He who leaves the cave and goes to the upper world and sees truer realities then comes back into the cave, his eyes 'full of darkness' because he's come in out of the light and he can't really see the shadows. The cave-dwellers mock him for being unable to play the game. But he must except that gladly and try his best to help the cave-dwellers as best he can. It's his duty, according to Plato.
      paperbackwriter likes this.
  5. paperbackwriter
    Solar
    Ok thanks for clarifying. Though I must say I still fail to grasp the concept fully.
    I was looking for an analogy which would highlight the modern malaise of the superficial experience of living through social media and virtual reality.
    And people like me who settle for this experience, but deep down realise there is something missing.
    Not that real life friendships and relationships are necessarily healthy or "real" either. I get more out of forums like this because I can be quite honest about how I feel. (but yesterday Ok I realise that is pissing some people off here too)
    Still I realise that I might be treating people like you Solar, as a figment of my imagination instead of a 'real" person. You are only seeing one side of me really. The pseudo intellectual side / neurotic Woody Allenish self-loathing side of me.
    Ive learnt to minimise my expectations on Internet forums. We will never be able to fully meet each others' needs on here.
    But if I focus on what is good about places like writingforumsdotorg, it is that I can explore my confused mind and untangle some of the webs, not all. That's enough I feel. Maybe my communication skills are still in need of polishing. I need to show more respect for others and their individual differences.
  6. GrahamLewis
    FWIW, when I formally joined the YMCA for the exercise options, I found myself developing some of the most supportive, albeit most not deep, friendships with people I hadn't known at all. And I find it very helpful. It's a matter of having found people who share one interest, and gradually expanding that to more personal topics. It's an effect that, in my experience at least, was totally unexpected. I realize now that exercising on my basement treadmill and bike was isolating.

    Buddhism has a concept called "sangha" and as I understand it, it means regular contact with people who share your values and are supportive and open with one another. I'd say this forum, and at least one other that I frequent, are sanghas of a sort, but I agree with you Paper that they can be one-dimensional because we only see the intellectual and often sanitized version of the contributors, and can never quite be sure of who we are talking with. No facial expressions, no gestures, few signs of the total person.

    I encourage you to find some real-life group, any group, that shares an interest of yours, and let relationships grow. I think they will.
      Foxxx likes this.
  7. jim onion
    @GrahamLewis

    The Debate Room is certainly not a sangha, lol.

    Working out in public can also be pretty isolating. Not trying to be argumentative, but I do think there's an important truth in the idea that we can feel our most lonely amidst a lot of people.

    But I think it depends on what you're looking for. Obviously if you don't make an effort, going to a gym isn't going to be any more social than staying at home. And that's okay if that's what you're after.

    Sometimes it just feels good to be around people. Not necessarily interacting with them.
      paperbackwriter likes this.
  8. GrahamLewis
    But it's even better interacting with people because, after all, we're human and humans are social animals. Lest you think that I am one of those glad-handing people, most people I know would definitely describe me as an introvert -- that's why I've been so pleasantly surprised. I suppose the fact that I legitimately have no agenda of any sort makes it easier. I just know it's a nice experience being out with people who share some of my ideas and beliefs, in the most general sense. I recommend it.
      Foxxx likes this.
  9. jim onion
    I agree with you. I was just providing an alternative perspective. Working out with at least one other person (or even just being in the same friend group with somebody who works out, somebody you can talk with about exercising) can be great encouragement, and actually benefit results. Definitely something worth giving a try.

    Others may not feel the need to work out with people because they might use that time as a way to take a break from socializing. Perhaps they're a part of some club(s) at school which keep them plenty occupied. None of which is to counter or even suggest I disagree with the 'sangha' concept you mentioned. I'm glad you found that at the YMCA.
  10. Solar
    Paperback,

    Plato's cave analogy is quite versatile. So, in my opinion, it can be adapted to cover modern life for sure. People live in the cave of their front room watching TV which gives them the illusion of seeing the whole world when in reality the televisual output in a mere fraction of all the events that are happening on earth at any one time (not to mention the universe as a whole). The TV informs their perception, which is to say, the filtered narratives shape the very way they see reality. This can be equated to the shadow-play on the walls of Plato's cave.

    Same with social media, VR etc. All quite empty and meaningless, taking us another step further from reality. Someone gives you an emoji kiss - does it satisfy you in the same way a real kiss from your lover does?

    Some people say the world is already a kind of cosmic virtual reality. If that's true, then boy, lots of poor souls are going deeper in the cave when they put on their VR headsets or tune into their phones.

    I concur with Graham. It's good to be around other humans, ones who share your values, who are tuned to your frequency so to speak.

    It sounds to me, Graham, that there is a touch of Epicurean in you (which isn't a bad thing). According to Cicero, Epicurus said:

    ". . .of all the things which wisdom has contrived which contribute to a blessed life,
    none is more important, more fruitful, than friendship"​

      paperbackwriter and Foxxx like this.
  11. paperbackwriter
    Hey Graham. The obvious choice for me is joining a Christian related/or Catholic group. Its more than hobby sharing!
    A couple of years ago I frequented Bible study groups (which is quite a fresh idea for Catholics). To be honest I found others' view or interpretation distracting. I always waited for the main priest's view of what we were reading so I didn't get confused.
      Foxxx likes this.
  12. paperbackwriter
    This is a fruitful blog entry. Must have struck a chord. I think its F#m7.
      Foxxx likes this.
  13. paperbackwriter
    Solar
    I concur with Graham. It's good to be around other humans, ones who share your values, who are tuned to your frequency so to speak.



    I've got one friend in this city. A non serious Muslim. We get on very well. These days I don't think it realistic to expect to have a group of friends. Ive become too stubborn and prickly anyway.
  14. paperbackwriter
    Sangha.
    Sounds like "sanger" which is an Aussie term for barbecued sausage.
  15. paperbackwriter
    Working out in public can also be pretty isolating. Foxx
    That's been my experience too. Not that I was disappointed. I didn't go there to make friends.
      Foxxx likes this.
To make a comment simply sign up and become a member!
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice