Fancies of a Dead Man

I suppose sometimes I feel lost. I think we all feel lost. I think its a normal feeling. But when you're constantly lost, I wonder if that means you're already dead. I have never and would ever consider suicide. Its not something in my nature. I feel I have already died, moved on, and passed on. A ghost who still has tales to tell. I think the profile picture best describes who I think I am, who J.P.Clyde is. I think he both thinks about the person he has become and who he will be. Bringing flowers to my own gravestone to grief the lost of myself. I suppose this is a very depressing message, but I think at some point we have to keep on musing ourselves about us. I think at some point we have to think about our own mortality and who we are. I never had the chance to find out who I was. I kind of recreated myself through J.P.Clyde. I made myself who I wanted to be, through my pen name. Everything I write is in character and in this persona. Cause the truth is I'm already a dead man. I'm already dead. I didn't need to commit suicide to realize this. I didn't need my body to be physically dead, all I needed was for myself to be dead mentally. All I needed was my mind to die. And J.P.Clyde is all that I have that dwindles of my past life. Its why I'm a ghost. Its why I consider myself a ghost writer. Because I am already dead. Or what I once was, is already dead. Now I am only J.P.Clyde. Its all I have left of my own mind. I think its what keeps me from going insane.