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Here I am Baby

Published by Leatherworth Featherfist in the blog Leatherworth Featherfist's blog. Views: 103

Lately I have been running low on a much needed resource. My "smoothness" stock hold seems to have been sabotaged in the night.

I don't normally have much trouble talking to women, and in fact I do quite well, conversationally speaking. Something strange has happened though. Today I went to the local market as I always do at lunch. I saw some friends, saw some enemies, saw some clowns, and I saw her. It is her that makes this daily visit exiting. Besides my beloved custom sandwich (oh goodness, so delicious), she is why I go to this market every day. I'm no stalker mind you, you're not watching Pepe Le Pew. I am simply intrigued by this woman.

Upon seeing her I made a b-line for isle 5 to hide. What? Why did I hide? I shook off my confusion and returned to the center stage. I saw her again and this time she turned toward me. I smiled, and then my cheek muscles began to twitch for some damn reason. "Ahhh I look like I'm schizo," I thought and I took off again. Luckily my sandwich was ready, so I had some time to kill. I got my sandwich and headed toward the register. She was the clerk. "Hello," she said with a very warm tone. "Hiya," my voice squeaked as I finished the word. "Mmh mhm," I cleared my throat. "How are ya," I said in a lower tone. "I,m great," she said. "Though I,m getting tired of this stupid watercolor jazz station that they've been playing all day." "Ha shtl." I laughed through my nose. Big mistake. Upon laughing I had launched a little messenger from my nose. He apparently had urgent news for this nice woman's blouse. She noticed. "Oh I'm so sorry, that's disgusting" I said. "Let me get that off of you." Bigger mistake. Not only did I flick the little guy from her blouse to her chin, I had accidentally assaulted this poor woman's breast. She was a good sport. She only punched my right eye, and left some teeth in my mouth. I left and ate my sandwich. I wondered what tomorrow would bring.

P.S. This is a fictional story
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