I feel like screaming, but I know no one will hear me.

Published by Yarnillah in the blog Yarnillah's blog. Views: 147

My Dad is officially a tyrant. Now, I know what you're thinking: a physical abuse case; he beats her up. He doesn't, just so you know. But is physical abuse the only thing that makes a tyrant a tyrant? Can't it be verbal abuse, control issues, illusions of importance?

My first few complaints are going to sound childish and selfish.

First and foremost, because this is what has caused be to vent in this blog, he has barged into my house and forced me to move back in with him, here in this house miles from nowhere. For no comprehensible reason on the planet!!! (I did mention control issues).

He's such a hyprocrite when it comes to things related to our religion. He's always lecturing me about bible principles and what I'm doing wrong and what I need to fix. I don't see him doing any such thing!! He lies, he doesn't fulfill his 'God-ordained responsibilities'. That's his favourite line in every lecture. He neglects every responsibility he has! Sure, he gets food on the table. But to what cost? He's submerged in debt and continues to borrow thousands. What if he had an accident? Who would pay for it all then?

He claims he has no time for anything, but watches three movies a day out in his shed, not working! He spends three days making a motorbike track and then another three riding on it with his mates!! He has time when he wants to do something, but he has no time for anyone else.

My Mum works parttime, trying to make up for the money he doesn't make. But what does he do? Take her money to buy more crap to fill up his great, big, overflowing shed.

Mum tries to start her own buisness in a small shop. He says he's all for it, but tears down every amazing idea she has, telling her it won't work. HE WON'T STAND FOR IT! Since when is it his decision? It's her buisness!

His temper is frightening. I have nightmares about it frequently. One minute everything will be normal, tranquil even. Next...CABOOM!! His head and explodes and the rest of us duck for cover.

I said that this isn't a physical abuse case. Not for me. I think he might have hit Mum a couple of times. She's had handprints on her cheek a couple of times. When his temper flares, you have to be careful what you say...or do. I had short hair, like a boy's, for years because he used it to pull me back to him one time when I tried to walk away. I've had thousands of arguments with him, literally. I always stand on the other side of a table or something.

I'm so scared for Bryce. He still gets shocked when Dad blows up. I'm so scared that one day he'll stand up to Dad and they'll end up having a punch up.

Mum has an elderly friend who doesn't like my Dad. He also happens to have $200 000 just sitting in the bank. He doesn't need it.

She has a scheme, Mum does. Ask her friend if she can borrow $100 000 thousand dollars to buy and renovate a small house closer to town (renovate as in make suitable to live in). She already knows which one. She's going to divorce my dad and live there. Away from his tyrany. Wherever Mum goes I go.

But I feel so guilty. I love my dad. He is my dad. How can I not love him? But he's bordering on insane. But there's nothing I can do. I can scream all I want. But there's no one else who will hear either, because there's nothing they can do to help.
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