Please find below the first couple of scenes from a script I have written & complete – all comments &/or advice is welcome...
CREDITS ROLL:
JOANNA, a woman in her middle 20’s, is seen sleeping in her bed. The morning sun creeps through the curtains while Joanna is seen tangled with her covers in an unflattering mess.
Close up of the alarm clock showing the time at 8:29am.
The alarm clock flicks to 8:30am and an uplifting Indie rock song blasts through the bedroom and continues to play as the credits roll.
Joanna slams her alarm clock with her hand, but fails to turn it off. She forces her eyes open and glances at the time.
JOANNA
Dammit!
(To the alarm clock)
I set you for an hour ago!
Joanna falls out of bed and frantically gets ready.
Here we have a montage of Joanna getting ready, such as brushing her teeth, putting on her clothes and doing her hair, which she keeps fiddling with until she gets it exactly right. She quickly puts on her coat before she is seen running out of the front door and across the street.
INT. A BAR/RESTAURANT – MORNING FRIDAY
The scene starts with Joanna arriving at the bar a bit late. She walks in as inconspicuously as possible.
CAROLINE
(Grinning over her magazine)
Good morning, sunshine…
Joanna ignores the older woman while grabbing a tray and notepad and taking off her coat in the process.
A girl with vibrant auburn hair, ELIZABETH, comes from behind the bar and smiles over at Joanna.
ELIZABETH
Are you alright, Jo?
CAROLINE
(To Joanna)
You look like hell.
JOANNA
(Half with it)
I just…
CAROLINE
Had a date with Prince Charming and then a wild night of sex? Or are you just going for the shagged out look?
ELIZEABETH
(To Caroline)
Don’t being so patronising. It’s not nice.
CAROLINE
So it was Prince Charming then?
A young woman, EMILY, places a Latte cup in front of Joanna while rambling on about something.
JOANNA
(Looking up from her notepad, confused)
I’m sorry, what?
EMILY
You’re Latte. One sugar, extra cream – just how you like it.
JOANNA
Oh - Thanks.
EMILY
You made it in the end then?
JOANNA
Just about! You know, could have woken me.
EMILY
Sorry, I thought you were awake. Besides, we all know what you’re like in the mornings.
Joanna smiles before blowing on her Latte.
Emily turns around and places a cup of tea by Elizabeth. Elizabeth smiles to thank Emily.
Emily then gives Caroline her Coffee.
EMILY
Good morning, Caroline - here is your black coffee, extra strong, no sugar – just how YOU like it…
Caroline grunts in response. Emily shakes her head and then turns back to Joanna who is now sipping at her Latte.
EMILY
(Smiling)
So, have you seen him yet?
Joanna looks up, confused.
JOANNAEmily rolls her eyes.
Who?
EMILY
You know exactly who I’m talking about; you’re Prince Charming, that’s who.
Caroline puts down her magazine and turn’s her full attention to the women.
CAROLINE
Ha – she wishes.
ELIZABETH
Ignore her…
JOANNA
I would rather not think about him, if I’m honest. I mean, what’s the point? I’ll only set myself up for a fall.
CAROLINE
Yeah, good point.
JOANNA
(To Elizabeth)
Is he even here yet?
CAROLINE
You’re kidding aren’t you? He’s probably still in bed with his girlfriend. You know - the blonde bomb shell – goes by the name of ‘look at me, look at me.’
Emily turns to face the sarcastic woman.
EMILY
Go back to reading your magazine. This is a private conversation between friends.
CAROLINE
(To Emily)
You do know that she doesn’t stand a chance with him. She’s a plain Jane…
(To Joanna)
No offence!
Joanna shakes her head as if to say, ‘none taken!’
CAROLINE
…and Jennifer is…
EMILY
…An evil witch?
CAROLINE
Look, you need to stop filling her head with all this ‘fairy-tale’ nonsense.
Joanna takes another sip of her Latte, giving herself a cream moustache while watching the women argue about her.
CAROLINE
A guy like James Anderson wouldn’t look twice at someone like…
Just then, JAMES comes walking through the door of the main bar. Joanna stares in awe, while Caroline shakes her head. He turns his attention to the women and smiles.
JAMES
Good morning, ladies.
Joanna, Emily and Elizabeth smile back at him. His eyes rest on Joanna. He then lets out a little chuckle.
JAMES
Erm, Joanna…
He makes his way over to where she is standing. Emily, Elizabeth and Caroline watch in complete shock.
Joanna freezes as he leans in close to examine her face. She holds her breath as he raises one hand and gently grazes her top lip with his thumb.
JAMES
You had a, erm – bit of a cream moustache going on there. It’s gone now.
He smiles at her.
Sudden realisation sets in and Joanna’s eyes widen with embarrassment. James laughs as she closes them, covering her face with both hands and shyly peeking through her fingers as he turns and walks away.
EMILY
Oh - my God! That was AMAZING!
CAROLINE
(Stunned)
Huh, well what do you know?
ELIZABETH
There’s your Prince Charming.
CAROLINE
He’s hardly Prince Charming.
EMILY
(To Caroline)
You’re just jealous.
CAROLINE
(Sarcastically)
Yeah, sure I am.
Joanna leans back against the bar - frozen. Emily grabs Caroline’s magazine off the side and starts wafting it at Joanna to cool her down.
EMILYCaroline shakes her head at Emily.
Breathe Jo. Breathe…
CAROLINE
Oh, stop being so over dramatic.
Caroline turns to the menu’s and starts to do some ‘work’. Emily puts down the magazine and turns her attention back to Joanna.
EMILY
Are you ok?
JOANNA
(Still shocked)
Did that just - happen?
EMILY
(Grinning)
Yes it did.
Joanna reaches up to touch her lips. She smiles dreamingly and then the two burst out into quiet giggles and squeals of excitement.
CAROLINE
(Under her breath)
Oh please.
Just then a young, nerdy looking man, SIMON, approaches the girls – a large smile across his face.
SIMON
Hi girls – Joanna…
His eyes linger on Joanna’s face as all the women besides Caroline turn to smile at the young waiter.
EMILY
Oh hey, Simon.
JOANNE
Hey, Si.
SIMON
I have a drinks order for you, Joanna.
JOANNA
Oh, I’m not working on the bar today.
He looks down at the paper in his hand.
EMILY
Yes, as you can see – Beth is.
SIMON
(Still staring at the paper)
Oh.
EMILY
Yeah...
Simon looks back up at Joanna while Elizabeth takes the paper from his extended hand.
ELIZABETH
I’ll sort that out, shall I?
SIMON
Thanks Beth.
ELIZABETH
(Smiling)
That’s okay.
Simon continues to gaze at Joanna.
Emily purposefully coughs. Elizabeth laughs.
Joanna looks from Simon to Emily and then back again. Emily frowns while clearing her throat.
EMILY
Ok, Simon - thank you.
He turns to look at Emily - disappointment on his face, then back to Joanna.
SIMON
Oh, alright. Goodbye, Joanna.
JOANNA
(Smiling)
Bye, Simon.
SIMON
Ciao Bella.
Simon finally leaves the women, and Emily turns to look at Joanna.
EMILY
Oh my God, he is so weird.
JOANNA
No he’s not, he’s sweet. Leave him alone.
EMILY
Ciao Bella?
The girls burst out laughing, but then their attention is turned back to the door James disappeared through, as James returns into the main bar followed by a gorgeous blonde woman and an older man.
They watch as the blonde girl squeals with joy before hugging the older man and then turning to James, hugging him too. All three are smiling and laughing.
EMILY
Oh, when did ‘Goldilocks’ get here?
JOANNA
I don’t know. I didn’t see her come in.
They all watch on, curiously.
JOANNA
I wonder what she’s so happy about.
Caroline turns her attention back to the women, looks over at the scene across the room and smiles.
CAROLIE
Maybe she’s pregnant. I see a tiny small bump coming along.
ELIZABETH
Too many puddings, I reckon.
CAROLINE
You lot would know about that.
Emily turns to Caroline.
EMILY
You know, that is the last time I make you a coffee.
CAROLINE
(Turning back to the menu’s)
Like I care!
The smartly dressed, older man clears his throat.
MR. CLARK
Can I have everyone’s attention, please?
All employee’s, along with some customers, turn their attention to Mr Clark, their boss, and owner of the bar/restaurant.
MR. CLARK
I am very proud to announce the engagement of my beautiful daughter - Jennifer, and this charming young man – Mr James Anderson, who she has chosen to be her husband.
He motions towards the couple standing closely by his right side.
Joanna watches on, tears threatening to form.
MR. CLARK
It is with great pleasure that I welcome James into the Clark family, and they would like to invite all employee’s to their engagement party, which will be held here a week on Saturday. All details will be posted on the bulletin board in the lounge upstairs.
Applause can be heard coming from all around the restaurant as James and Jennifer kiss. Jennifer then kisses her father on the cheek and the bar falls back into the sound of chatting customers.
CAROLINE
(Over Joanna and Emily’s shoulder)
I told you so.
Emily quickly turns to Joanna and notices that tears have already started to garter in her blue eyes.
EMILY
Jo, I…
JOANNA
It’s ok. I mean come on - who was I kidding? I’m nobody. Jennifer is perfect. They belong together.
Elizabeth walks around the bar to Joanna.
ELIZABETH
No, that’s not true…
JOANNA
Yes - it is.
She smiles sadly before heading for the toilets. Both girls watch after her, sympathy taking over their features.
Joanna passes Simon on her way to the toilets and he too watches after her with a sad, longing expression on his face.
The scene fades to black…
-
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