Labour will be mauled at the next election
There's now talk of a so-called coalition of losers between the two formerly left-wing British parties, Labour (having disastrously lost the election) and the Liberal Democrats (having disastrously lost seats after having failed to set out any credible policies, despite brilliant success in the televised leader's debates).
This is to the detriment of the Conservatives, by far the largest party, led by David Cameron. His refusal to budge on electoral reform (and, from his perspective, rightly so; proportional representation would lead to Labour and the Liberal Democrats consistently benefiting from hung parliaments, by declaring formal coalitions, and thus excluding the Conservatives from any election) has led to Nick Clegg (Lib Dem leader) stalling to decide whether to do a deal with the current Prime Minister (Labour).
So, from the title, you are now probably wondering two things: firstly, how will there be a second election if Labour and the Liberal Democrats do a deal? Second, why exactly would they be mauled? More than half of the population voted for both Labour and the Liberal Democrats, so why would they fail to gain public support?
Well, the two answers are linked. The numbers of MPs in the House of Commons in 650. The numbers of Labour and Liberal Democrat MPs is less than 326, the minimum number required for a majority government. If there is a minority government, nothing will be accomplished, and the country will probably return to the polls later in the year. To gain a majority, the parties will need to do a deal with others; namely, the SNP (Scottish National Party) and Plaid Cymru (the Welsh equivalent). That would be the end of both major party's reign in England.
The reason? For their continued support in a majority government (thus avoiding holding a second election), they would effectively ban the ruling government from cutting public spending in their respective Celtic nations. England (which is already the poor relation in the United Kingdom; no parliament, no independent government, subsidies for Scotland, and no free university fees which the Scots currently enjoy, even though they pay for them) will not take too kindly to having to bear the entirety of the £850 billion pound national debt plus the £185 billion a year deficit, as well as payments to the EU and the other constituent nations of the United Kingdom.
The Labour and Liberal Democrats may have to face the prospect of a massive Conservative majority in a second election, simply for the number of seats to form a majority government. If they do not form a majority government, they will have to go to the polls, and their inactivity and uselessness would have a similar effect as providing the Celtic nations with free gifts and toys.
So, Conservatives, go back to your constituencies and prepare for government. Gormless McRuin and Clegg, thanks for whatever's left of the English economy - you'll no longer rule over it when the ballot boxes reopen.
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