....<-my mood, all the time.

By burned_out · Apr 30, 2009 · ·
  1. I'm not exactly sure how to start this one, cause I just have so much to talk about...

    First off, I have this HUGE research project I'm working on of the Rwanda genocide. Hmph. Doesn't help someone who's already depressed. The pictures are enough to send someone over the edge. Thank whoever is up there, I'm strong and I know that its important for me to know that sort of thing for some reason later in my life.

    Second, I miss my grandmother terribly. Her memory has been dragging me down, down, down until suddenly, I find, there is nothing left of me to care for anything anymore.

    Third, my boyfriend's 18th birthday is tomorrow, and I don't want it to be here already. I know exactly what'd going to happen; things are going to escalate until he's going to be so distant, I'd have to send a fax to get to him. I hate May 1st.

    I feel a bit better after ranting...

Comments

  1. Castlesofsand
    well at least you feel better.

    Rwanda, was/is something i don't want to relive again, so i understand your hesitation and feelings.

    your grandmother, i used to have people tell me, 'she's always there, inside you' .... well b/s, that loved one isn't close enough for me. so i understand your loss.

    Best luck with your b/f, sometimes its just a world of stress that trips up love, you both just need to find your footing again :)

    good day/writing to you

    CoS
  2. Leaka
    I'm not normally good at giving advice. And in this said conversation, that won't change.
    But I know the feeling of having stress built upon grief.
    When I was elven my parents were fighting, but getting ready to move to California.
    My grandfather died during that time.
    So I understand that feeling.
    But you shouldn't let it get you down.
    What I do is I get a little something of them and wear or keep it with me.
    So it's like they are still encouraging.
    I wore my grandfather's shirt from his closet, for six weeks until I was forced to take it off.
    But it's nice to put silly little emotions in a trinket like that.
    Like they are talking to you or helping through.
    But I am not sure about the sad pictures they have to show you.
    You could um.....not look if you don't have to.
    I hope I helped in some way.
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