Marriage

Well, me and my friend Mercurial were discussing the traditional commintment ritual (i.e. marriage) and I decided to blog my views on it (in other words, yes I really didn't anything better to do with my time).

Let's go ahead and get this out of the way right away. I am not a big fan of the traditional marriage ceremony. Now, boys and girls I bet your saying to yourselves, "But weddings are so magical, what could you ever have against them?" And I respond, "Oh trust me, there's plenty to dislike about it...."

Lets start with one of the biggest things first, having to have all your friends and family there. Now in theory this should be a good thing, right? I mean, this is one of the biggest days in your life so why not have your family and friends there? Well, not every theory turns out to be correct. By involving so many other people, it ends up being more about them than the two people actually getting married. "Where are we going to sit everyone... no we can't sit Jim Bob and Bob Jim near each other, they've been fueding for years... what are we going to serve... what music do we play that everyone will like... your mom wants red flowers but mine wants pink one.... etc, etc." It ends up being just a fancy dinner party or an expensive family reunion.

Which brings me to my second point, it's expensive. Now, I'm far, very far from being cheap, but come on people. Weddings nowadays can easily get up five, or even ten, thousand dollars. I can't be the only one that thinks that that is insane. For that money you could have gotten a family car, put a hell of a down payment on a house, or invest it into just about anything that you would use for more than just ONE day. The wedding ends up just being a excersize in excess. While I'm not against excess, but in this case, it really takes away from the reason why your getting married in the first place.

The next reason will be short and to the point, the amount of time spent planning the wedding. People will spend anywhere from a few months, to over a year planning it; just to make sure that every single detail is perfect. When you put that much planning into something that should be simple and straightforward, then it loses a lot of it's original intent; at least in my opinion it does.

Now, at this point, Beverly brought up something, that I believe to be one of the biggest reasons why people get married, it's a security blanket for people (herself included). After all, if someone is getting married to you, that means that they're truely commited to you, right? Now, I now that our culture has drilled it into everyone's head that wedding = commintment. This seems particularly true among the female half of the population. However, this simply isn't true. The simple truth is, either someone is committed to you or they're not. No piece of paper (marriage license), symbol of unity/love (wedding ring), or commintment ritual (wedding) can change that.

And the reason being, to be perfectly honest, I dislike tradition. At least traditions that keep going on, simply because they're tradition. I think half the reason anyone gets married anymore is because according to tradition, "that's what your suppose to do." And in the end, that simply isn't a good enough reason for me.

At this point I bet your saying, "Well ok then Mr. I hate marriage, since you love pointing out what's wrong with getting married, what would you do for a commintment ceremony? Lets see if you can answer that one, if your so smart..."

And I reply, "Well, I'm glad you ask, cause I just happen to have an answer for that."

I say, if two people want promise themselves to each, then just chose a ritual that has meaning to the two of you. As for what I'd like to do: I'd set up a week long vacation for me and the person I chosen to promise myself to. Her/him and I would go somewhere private away from the rest of the world. Preferably, if we have the extra cash, we'd charter a boat or helicopter and go out to some deserted island. However, the exact location isn't important, as long as it's just the two of us. It would be during this week that we'd each write our vows to the other person and then on the final night, under the light of a full moon, we'd exchange vows. To "cement" our unity, I'd like to take the yinyang symbol and spilt it. She'll/he'll get one half tattooed somewhere on her/his body and I'd get my half tattooed in the middle of my chest, over my heart. The dark or light half would symbolize they're spirit and the other would symbolize mine. But there is some light in the dark and some dark in the light, so it would show that our spirits are connected.

I'll end this blog with a disclaimer: while it isn't for me, I have nothing against other people getting married. If it's what they both truely want, then so be it and I hope they enjoy it.

So, what do you guys and gals think? Am I right or just a marriage hating idiot, lets hear your opinion.