Merry Christmas...

It's Christmas. A family time, the "holiday spirit". Does anyone know what that really means? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I'm a lonely child; I'm in pain--always. Only three things break this pain, and they're never available when I need a pick-me-up. The horses I work with, my friends, and my boyfriend--my perfect other half. Unfortunately for me, he lives on the other side of the country. I miss him--every damn day. We talk a lot, but I wish he was here with me. Talking to him makes me feel better, but we don't get to talk enough.

My friends... Hah. Friends? I have three. Including him. Once upon a time I had more. And then someone I thought I could trust broke my heart. Why am I telling you this? Because I can. You don't know me--I don't care what you know about me.

That woman broke my trust, broke my heart, and crushed me. I fight not to trust people, but sometimes I have to. My fourth friend... I miss him. I was told I couldn't talk to him again, though. I obeyed. Still, I miss him.

The horses I ride--they are my life, my dream, my one true passion. Sadly, I cannot drive, and do not live close enough to get their any other way. So I can only visit them when my parents will drive me. Therefore, they cannot be there for me when I am in pain.

I want school to start--once it does I will wish it hadn't. But it will be a distraction from this pain.

Christmas... It always makes me lonely. Does it make you?