When I was in highschool, I briefly tried Taekwondo. I didn't get much out of it. At first, it was great. I took to it pretty well and it wasn't too long until I was ready to advance to the next belt. But I was an idiot kid. I chickened out before taking the test. Instead of making the most of something which I actually enjoyed, my brain -- which has consistently been my enemy in my life -- came up with all sorts of reasons to not do it. I felt like maybe it was too easy or it wasn't legit. I thought it was some kind of lame doju because if I could advance to the next rank so soon, it must be some sort of fake nonsense and there was nothing I could get out of it. I don't know. I've just never been on my own side. I really hate that part of myself.
But there was one particular experience I had which stuck out and that I've been dwelling on today. They brought a legit Taekwondo master from Korea in. He did some demonstration or a talk or something. I can't remember that part. What I do remember was that after the training session, all us pupils went and shook his hand and talked with him briefly. When it was my turn, I shook his hand. I was quite taller than him and (literally) looked down at him -- you know, so I could look him in the eyes. He said to me, my hand still in his: "You look down at me like I'm young. I am not. I am strong." And then he effortlessly squeezed my hand with, I must admit, great strength. I didn't even know what to say. I looked at my teacher who gave me a smile that I couldn't really interpret. And then back at this Taekwondo master. I didn't say a word. He released my hand and I left.
I didn't and still don't know what to make of this interaction. Initially I thought the guy was some dip who was insecure about his height. But I wonder if he had a point. I have always had a rebellious attitude and always try to break rules(if I can get away with it). When I was younger, I had no respect for anyone and a ridiculous ego. Of course, this ego was compensation for my deep insecurities, but it was there. And I wonder... was it a look in my eyes? Was it my body language? I wasn't the only one taller than him and I don't think he said that to anyone else. So... yeah. I mean that's it. It's just got my thinking. I think this guy read me like a book and tried to give me some kind of lesson. And I didn't learn it. That's too bad. Whatcha goin' do?
Friedrich Kugelschreiber likes this.
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