My list of fears

Published by Kaij in the blog Kaij's blog. Views: 105

Jotting this down for myself. You all will get to know me a little bit better by it, I believe. XP

I have a MAJOR phobia of heights. Like standing on the first step of a stool will freak me out. For the most part, I feel dizzy, stomach clenches and I get the shakes. I get to thinking I'm going to fall and it's going to hurt. One person picked me up in a hug from behind one time and I flipped, started hyperventilating because I thought he was going to drop me. It's why I hesitate when I'm about to jump up to sit my butt on a table or something >>;

When I see a spider I freeze up and almost go on the verge of crying. I don't care if they are the size of a piece of dust. I'm always afraid that one's going to be in my car while I'm driving, and I'll wreck. Cause of damage? A tiny spider looked me in the eye. XD *pansified*

People being on my left side.
This seriously is something weird. I don't like people walking close to me on my left side. I fall back a few paces, speed up, or shift so they're on my right side instead. My brain just thinks that if they suddenly lash out, since my right side does everything, it think I can take pain better on that side than on my left. Unless it's someone I trust, I don't let people come near my left side if walking, and if they do, I get jittery and it shows.

I always hesitate right before looking into a mirror. Always. It never ceases to amaze me. I don't know why I do it, but I do. Kind of like in the horror films where someone shuts a cabinet and when they look in the mirror, there's a guy grinning holding some sort of weapon. Or even a bloody note on the wall behind that they didn't notice before *shudders* I always think someone's out there to get me.

I can't be near the window in my room. I just can't. I walk on the far side when I'm passing by it. Other than that, the only time I can't be near other windows is at night, because I start to see things I know aren't there, and I imagine someone suddenly coming into view, face pressed against the glass. At night, when nobody's awake, I move down to the basement for the most part, where there are no windows for someone to look into and see me. As for my bedroom window, I get the feeling someone outside is watching me. Pair of binoculars on hand.

Answering the phone.
Especially at night. I always have a heartattack when the phone rings around nine or so. This was when my ex called me, at the time we were dating. I don't talk about him, though. So throughout the day, whenever the telephone rings, I just let it ring until someone else picks it up or until the answering machine gets it. I think it's the fact I never know who's calling, and it freaks me out. If someone called my cell, and I knew the number, I'd answer. Or not, but that's considering if I'm lazy.
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