Neck Talking (a small rant)

Hey 'urybody!

My rant today is Neck Talking.

"What is Neck Talking, Wrey?"

Thanks for asking! Neck Talking is when you talk to someone on your cellphone or even regular phone and you hold the microphone receiver down by your neck instead of up by your mouth.

"Why does this bother you, Wrey?"

I love you guys! Thanks for asking. It bugs the jumpin' jehoshaphats out of me because when you talk to someone on the phone like that, and your phone isn't science fiction awesome, then no one can bloody understand a word you say.

"But holding the phone that way looks cooler, Wrey!"

Really? Then please don't call me. Your coolness is more than I can handle.

"Awe, come on, Wrey. A little harsh, don'tcha think?"

No. No, I don't think. You call me on the phone, you want to talk about important matters but you want me to decipher what you have to say because your phone sounds like you've stuck it up your butt and I am receiving only the vibrations conducted from your upper orifice, through your body, and down to your lower orifice.

No. No thank you. Call someone else on your butt phone.

/rant