Neverending

By Cogito · Nov 19, 2007 · ·
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  1. Neverending

    Nothing lasts forever. Stars are born of coalescing dust and gases, compressed under their own weight until they burst into nuclear brilliance. They blaze for millions, billions, or even trillions of years, and then they burn low and die, or explode in a last blast of glory. Even the universe itself has a beginning, and will someday wind down like a worn out clock.

    His lifetime is as evanescent as a wing beat of a gnat by comparison. He was born in what men call the dawn of civilization, and has seen nations rise and fall, and be forgotten. But he has no delusions of immortality. No one lives forever.

    The stars slowly rotated within the viewport as he watched from the bed. He was resting, but not sleepy. He loved the stark beauty of the naked brilliant points in the absolute blackness of open space. Their stark purity spoke to him of simplicity and patience.

    Beside him, Sarah stirred. She rolled over and slid a warm arm around him, pulling him close. He kissed her eyelids, and she squeezed him and sighed contentedly. “I love you, Tom Gordon.”

    He smiled, and hugged her in return. “And I love you, Sarah Vandermeer. Sorry I woke you.”

    She chuckled and leaned close. A lock of her dark hair brushed across Tom’s forehead. “Are you now?” She kissed him, and lazily dragged her nails down his chest. “Show me how sorry,” she whispered.

    Research Station 6 drifted around the Sun, almost in Earth’s orbit, in the stable L5 Lagrange point. There it could conduct studies away from the gravity well of any planetary mass. It consisted of a central spindle protruding from a roughly brick-shaped block, with a cylindrical shell rotating around the end of the spindle farthest from the block. Three thick hollow spokes joined the shell to the spindle in a thick coupling hub. Perpendicular to the spindle, a long, narrow boom extended from the “bottom” of the block to the fusion power plant. The rotating cylindrical shell contained the living quarters and other facilities requiring gravity. The block housed a pair of docking bays, several zero-g labs, and the operations center. Several small craft too large for the docking bays were moored to structures mounted around the block.

    The Hermes project was conducting research that many hoped would lead to a workable hyperdrive theory, the long sought Holy Grail of interstellar travel. Hermes owed its existence to Dr. Sarah Vandermeer, the mathematician and theoretical physicist whom many considered on a par with Einstein. Thomas was equally sure the comparison was overly generous to old Albert.

    Thomas was a supervising technician on Hermes. The position was chosen, like his name, to keep him out of public notice. But his insatiable curiosity drove him to be on hand for what he was sure would be a crucial moment in history, greater than any he had yet experienced.

    He was not brilliant, but had over the centuries accumulated a vast body of knowledge. He had loved hundreds of women, and every one different and special. But Sarah was more unique, more special to him than any before. Not only was she brilliant and beautiful, she shared his sense of wonder at the complex variety of the Universe.

    That was why he decided it was time to break one of his longest standing self-imposed rules.

    The next morning, Sarah woke before the station lighting rose to daytime levels. She cleaned up and dressed for the day, and Tom was still asleep. She sat and studied his face, peaceful in sleep. A stray lock of his sandy hair had fallen across one eye. She was again struck by how smooth and symmetric his face was.

    Nearly a year ago, Sarah arrived at the station for the first time. The tech team had arrived several weeks earlier to begin setting up the labs and the computers, so she called a meeting with the Lead Technician. When she entered the tiny conference room, he actually stood up and pulled out her chair for her. As they went over the equipment roster and planned the next phase, she couldn’t help but notice the intensity of his pale blue eyes, and the grace and economy of his movements. He was highly competent, and she came to depend on him not only to keep the experimental schedule, but also to plan the experiments. Hers were the theories, but he had a knack for devising astute ways to test the predictions. As they became closer professionally, a more personal bond developed as well.

    She became aware that Tom had awakened, and was looking back at her with amusement as she was lost in her thoughts.

    Tom watched the blush spread from her strong cheekbones. Sarah’s features were strong rather than soft, yet the sum effect was an intensity that complemented the brilliant intellect within. Her green eyes were always keenly aware and lively. Sarah was lean and athletic, and always moved as if in a hurry. Tom often teased her for bumping into corners that didn’t move out of her way quickly enough.

    Sarah stood up and turned to hide the blush. “I’m glad you decided to finally wake up. We have a full schedule today.”

    “Good morning to you too,” he teased. You go on ahead. I’ll catch up in a few.” He remembered his decision from last night. “Dinner’s in my quarters tonight.”

    She turned and raised an eyebrow. “What’s the occasion?”

    He stood and put his arm around her. “We need an occasion? We always come to your quarters. I can cook too, you know.”

    She smiled, and slipped out of reach. “Ok, then, don’t tell me. Tonight then. Nineteen hundred ok?” He nodded and she was out the door.

    Sarah pressed the call button on the keypad, and heard the chime sound on the other side of the door. The door opened, releasing a savory aroma,, and Tom welcomed her in with a tender kiss. Sarah entered, and saw a candlelit table set for two. She looked at him, the question clear in her eyes.

    “I do have a surprise,” he replied, “but not until after dinner.”

    She opened her mouth in protest, but he smiled and placed a lobster shao mai between her parted lips. They dined at a leisurely pace, and he watched her curiosity grow along with her impatience. Finally, he sat beside her on the sofa. She could contain her curiosity no longer.

    “You’ve been holding out all evening. What’s the big surprise?”

    “It’s something I’ve wanted to share for as long as I’ve known you. But you’ll have to promise that no matter what, this stays between us, always.”

    She nodded uncertainly, then again, decisively. “No matter what. I promise.”

    He looked down and took a deep breath. “I’m older than I look, Sarah. A lot older.”

    She watched him and waited. He talked about growing up in a nomadic tribe, becoming a man when he speared his first boar, and his shock at waking up intact after being mauled by a raging bear. He spoke of savage hordes, and of farms and villages. He spoke of lords and kings and shifting borders, and she listened silently. Then they both sat in silence. Then she asked questions. They talked throughout the night, then exhausted, slept side by side all morning. She woke to find him watching her intently. He held her gaze silently for a long minute. Finally he spoke.

    “You’re taking this pretty calmly.”

    “I honestly don’t know what to say, or think,” she began, and paused. “I believe you, but I can’t explain why. It all fits, somehow. But it’s a lot to absorb.” Another long pause, and she stood. “I don’t even know if I should call you Tom. It’s just a made up name.”

    Tom held up his hand. “No. That is my name, in this chapter of my life. “ He saw doubt in her eyes. “Look, If a woman takes a new name when she marries, it’s her real name all the same.” He gazed intently into her eyes. “Sarah, Thomas Gordon is who I am.”

    She returned his look. “So, why me? You’ve kept your secret for millennia, Am I the only one you’ve ever told?”

    Thomas shook his head. “No, not the first. I told people the truth when I was younger, in the first couple centuries. They either laughed and called me a liar and a fool, or lashed out in fear, and I swore never to tell anyone again. But I decided I needed to tell you the truth. I felt you would understand.”

    She smiled. “That’s one hell of a compliment, Tom. And one hell of a burden, too. I won’t let you down.” She sighed. “But Tom, give me some time for this to settle in, please?”

    “Of course.” He kissed her, and she left. He sat silently for a while, then left the cabin to meet with the rest of the tech team.

    (Continued in part 2)
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  1. Cogito
    (continued from part1)

    He didn’t see much of her for the next three days. Then it was time to outfit the Barge for the next set of field measurements. Thomas and his team of technicians would be accompanying Dr. Vandermeer on the mobile test platform. The test apparatus was expected to create an energy field that would distort local space in accordance with the Vandermeer Theory. Past experiments had produced measurable effects, but there were still discrepancies from the predictions. This trip was intended to generate a stronger field than before for more precise measurements. But bending space in close proximity to a crowded research station was considered somewhat rash. The 90 meter long platform, nicknamed the Barge, was used to conduct all the Hermes tests at a minimum distance of 50 kilometers from the station.

    Sarah pulled Thomas aside while Erin and Josef were assembling and aligning the power collimator for the field generator. “I just want you to know, I’m not avoiding you.” She looked down at her hands. “At least, not for the last day or so. I’ve just been so busy getting ready for the test.”

    Thomas gently lifted her chin until she was looking into his eyes, and waited.

    “Tom, what is it like? You’ve lived so long, you must have seen everything. How boring does it get?”’

    He laughed, but stopped when a flash of anger touched her eyes. “I’m sorry, but that really was funny. You couldn’t have known, though. The only time I have ever been bored was before I knew I wouldn’t die any time soon.”

    She frowned. “That doesn’t make any sense.”

    “Sure it does. I only got bored when I couldn’t decide what I wanted to spend limited time on. When it sank in that I had time and to spare, I became more fascinated with everything around me. The more I see, the more I realize there is to see and learn. Seen everything? When everything keeps changing and evolving? How could I ever be bored?” He brushed back a loose strand of her dark hair. “What you’re really wondering is how I can’t be bored with you, after all the women I have known. Right?”

    She looked at him impassively, then dropped her eyes and nodded quietly. “It crossed my mind.”

    “Other men have had women in their pasts, but that doesn’t prevent them from loving. In fact, they often learn from previous relationships.” He squeezed her hands reassuringly. “I am with you, and only you, Sarah Vandermeer, every part of me. I have never, ever met anyone like you before. You are the most wonderful, most amazing person in my life.” He kissed her, and held her gently. She clung to him tightly and sobbed.

    That night, they made love as if for the first time, then slept entwined and at peace. In the morning, they joined the rest of the tech team on the Barge and prepared to launch. The team worked as a well tuned machine, and they soon released the moorings. Sarah stole a look at Thomas as he played the thruster controls with the finesse of concert pianist. She didn’t think he saw her watching, until he winked without looking her way. Warmth rose in her cheeks as she turned quickly away.

    Thomas fired the braking thrusters, and soon the Barge was holding position 52 kilometers from the station. Josef ran through the final checks on the field generator, and then Thomas began ramping up the power according to the test plan. After three hours, Sarah took the data collected so far to the analysis lab amidships. An hour later, Thomas brought the next block of data to her. He began to turn to leave, but stopped as she frowned and leaned closer to the screen.

    “Wait. These last few readings don’t look right. When you get back to the generator, put it on hold at the current level and run a diagnostic on the instrument array.”

    Thomas looked over her shoulder. “I see what you mean. But what could …”

    There was an abrupt lurch, and everything in the room flew against the aft wall, including Thomas and Sarah. He slammed against the bulkhead first, and felt something hard penetrate his back. Then Sarah slammed into him, and he lost consciousness.

    Sarah tried to catch her breath as she rebounded from Thomas and drifted across the room. A computer screen tumbled toward her, and she brushed it away. The only light in the room shone from the two recessed emergency lights. As she rotated in free fall, she found herself facing Thomas and her stomach lurched. A piece of conduit had been twisted away from the wall and was penetrating his abdomen. As she stared, his eyes opened. He looked down at the protruding piece of metal and grimaced. Then her rotation faced her away from him. When she again was facing him, he had pushed himself away from the wall, and was drifting toward her. The bloody section of conduit was still attached to the wall behind him. He caught hold of her and they drifted close enough to the far wall to seize a railing. They began to assess their predicament.

    The power returned as the automatics restored critical systems. Thomas opened the door and entered the main passageway. The corridor pressure doors had all sealed when the power failed. He headed toward the field generator room where the other three techs were, but the second pressure door he reached refused to open. The vacuum warning light was blinking red.

    Sarah had brought the computer back online. She was looking in disbelief at an image from the exterior camera mounted on the antenna array. The entire forward third of the Barge, where the field generator had been housed, was gone. She couldn’t see any wreckage, but the end of the remaining hull section looked like it had been stretched like taffy to jagged points. She heard Thomas reenter the room behind her.

    He spoke quietly. “The corridor is breached between here and the field generator. I can’t tell what condition the others are in.”

    She turned the screen so he could see. “They’re all dead. The generator must have collapsed into a singularity. There’s nothing left up there.” Her voice was flat with shock.

    “A singularity? Like a black hole?”

    “Yes, but on a much smaller scale. The field formed, then destabilized and collapsed. Everything nearby vanished into the singularity. Fortunately, that included the field generator, so the singularity itself disappeared into itself too. Or else we’d be dead, too, along with our friends…”

    He joined her, and she held on to him. He was the only reality, and she clung desperately to him, afraid to let go. Then she remembered, and fumbled to lift his bloody shirt. The puncture was still raw and ugly, but it was closed and looked as if it had been healing for at least a week.

    “Even knowing that you – I would never have believed this if I hadn’t seen it myself.”

    He looked at her carefully. “Are you all right?”

    She nodded. “I think you saved me. You cushioned my impact.”

    “That isn’t what I meant.”

    “I know what you meant. I’m fine, Thomas. I really am. But Josef, and Walt, and Erin…”

    “Yes. There is no possibility anyone could have survived that. But it had to have been quick. They probably never even knew what happened.”

    (concluded in part 3)
  2. Cogito
    (continued from part 2)

    They sat in silence for several minutes. Finally, Sarah spoke.

    “Can we still maneuver? We have to get back to the station.”

    Thomas nodded. “I’ll check. The engines are in the aft section, so we should be ok.”

    He sat down to the computer and began the engine checks. Forty minutes later, he pushed back from the terminal. “The engines are fine. But we have a problem.” He sighed. “We aren’t where we’re supposed to be.”

    Sarah looked at the screen, which was pitch black with a sprinkle of stars. “What am I looking at?”

    Thomas pointed to one star, brighter than the rest. “As far as I can tell, that’s the Sun. At least I hope it is. If it’s not, we’ll never find a way home.”

    “That can’t be the Sun. That would place us beyond Neptune.”

    “Farther than that, I’m afraid. Judging by the magnitude, we’re at least several light months away.” He chuckled dryly. “Congratulations, Doctor. It appears your theories are on the right track.”

    She punched his arm. “Thanks a lot. For all the good it will do anyone. We’re dead too, and it won’t be quick like the rest of the team.” She stopped. “Well I am, anyway. What will happen to you?”

    “My body will shut down without oxygen. If they ever find us, I might revive, but I don’t know if I can stay suspended indefinitely. I drowned once, and nearly 200 years passed before I found myself beached on a desolate stretch of shore. But finding one tiny piece of wreckage in interstellar space? I don’t see much hope.”

    Sarah looked at this man she loved, and he suddenly seemed unreal to her. She held him, and he held her. Eventually they slept, exhausted and full of despair.

    Several hours later, Sarah sat up suddenly. When Thomas finally stirred an hour later, she was busy at the computer. She looked up at him, and her eyes sparkled. “We may have a chance after all.”

    Thomas watched her, a smile on his lips. He loved watching her thought processes at work. She was clearly on to something.

    She waited, but he said nothing. “We have a full set of spare components for the field generator, enough to rebuild it. And we know the power profile we used for the test. With a lot of luck, we might be able to reproduce the accident, and retrace our path. We can’t expect to get back to the station under our own power, but maybe we can get close enough to signal for a rescue.”

    He thought for a moment. “But wait. We’ve lost a considerable part of our mass. Won’t that cause us to overshoot on the return trip? How can we compensate?”

    Sarah shook her head. “No, mass isn’t part of the equation, as far as I can tell. What matters is the strength and geometry of the field. That will be the same, or at least will be if we can apply the same power profile. But I’m not sure yet which direction we need to align the generator. The field was directed forward, but were we thrown with it or opposite it?”

    “We were thrown against the rear bulkhead,” He began, but Sarah was shaking her head.

    That could have been from either the jump or the reentry. We need to be certain.”

    Thomas nodded. “It will take a while, but I should be able to determine that once I have a more accurate idea of where we are. We have life support for nearly five weeks.”

    “We need to keep as much of that as we can in reserve after we repeat the jump, to allow time for rescue. I’ll begin assembling the other field generator while you go stargazing.”

    Four hours later, Thomas joined Sarah in the aft hold. She had most of the main field generator assembled, and several of the power components were unpacked and secured nearby.

    “We traveled point-six-three light years in the direction the field was projected. To return, we will have to point the aft of the Barge toward where we need to go. You realize we won’t have maneuvering jets once this end of the ship collapses, right?”

    She nodded. “Right, I thought of that. But we should be able to take our shot tomorrow. Why don’t you start assembling the power stack.”

    He heard it in her voice. “What aren’t you telling me?”

    She set down the tools and pointed to a shattered assembly in the corner. “The power control interface is beyond repair. The initial accident slammed it into the support column. There’s no way to control the power profile remotely or by a program.”

    “Damn! So one of us will have to ramp the power manually.” And it won’t be her, he decided.

    They worked in silence for several more hours, until Thomas set down his tools and made her put hers away as well. “No more today. We can’t afford any mistakes. We should get a good night’s rest and finish tomorrow.”

    They made dinner together, choosing the best from the stored supplies. This had been reserved for a celebratory feast at the conclusion of the test run. Now it felt like a funeral spread. They spoke little, and not at all about the looming decision. After the meal, they lay in each other’s arms, taking comfort in quiet intimacy.

    They shared breakfast, then labored to complete the field generator that would take one of them home. Each was determined that the other would be the survivor. Finally, the last component was assembled, and the final checks were completed. The decision could no longer be delayed.

    Thomas spoke first. “You should secure yourself in Erin’s cabin. It’s in the best condition of the remaining rooms, and there is nothing left in there that isn’t secured.”

    Sarah was shaking her head vigorously. “You aren’t in charge here, Mr. Gordon. Hermes is my project, and I get to make the hard decisions. You’re going home, and you will continue to live your extraordinary life. Besides which, you can survive longer if it takes more time for a rescue ship to reach you. That’s my final word.”

    Thomas put a finger tenderly to her lips. “Forget it. There’s only one way this can go. I’d love to have spent the next 50 years with you, and I want to live. But there is no way I will trade two lives for mine, especially these two lives.”

    She gaped at him. “How did you know? I only found out after we launched from RS-6.”

    “You forget. I’ve been around a while. I have learned to see details other people miss, and to know what they mean. I knew you were pregnant when we were preparing the launch. You need to bring our daughter home safely.”

    “Or son,” Sarah began, but stopped when she saw Thomas’ smile. “Ok, daughter.” She paused. “Tom, do you think she’ll…?”

    Thomas shook his head. “No. She is not my first child. I have watched my children being born, growing old, and then dying. Whatever I am, it is not passed on. But that’s fine. She has a wonderful mother to raise her, and she will live a full life.”

    They shared their final hours in slow, tender passion. They held each other for a long time afterward. Thomas made sure Sarah was properly secured in Erin’s quarters, and made his way to the aft hold. He adjusted the ship’s attitude to line it up with the distant sun, and began applying the power, following the program exactly. Five hours later, he keyed the intercom. “If this works, it should take place between three and five minutes from now.”

    “We will never forget you, Thomas Gordon.”

    “I love you, Sarah Vandermeer. Live well. Promise me that.”

    “I promise.”

    The seconds ticked by, and Thomas began to worry. It was approaching the five minute point, and nothing had happened yet. If it took much longer…”

    Sarah felt the ship lurch once more. She was well secured, but the main impact this time was deep within her heart. After what felt like days, she unfastened the restraints and forced herself to survey the damage. The aft of the Barge now matched what was left of the forward end, and the stars slid past as the ship tumbled. The attitude thrusters were gone, so there was no way to stop the rotation. Then the sun slid past the viewport, and its disc looked the right size – Earth normal. As the wrecked ship continued to turn, she saw a tiny blue speck, larger than a star, although too small to pick out individual features.

    She had come out closer to the Earth than to the station. She set to work restoring the systems that had shut down during the second jump. Within hours of powering up the distress beacon, she received a weak voice message, and was able to transmit a reply. Then she finally felt grief overtake her, and she surrendered to it/ When a rescue ship matched course with the crippled Barge on the eleventh day after that, she was unaware of their approach, and remembered little of the days and weeks that followed.

    Around eight months later, I was born. It’s hard to keep a low profile when your mother has entire planets named after her, but I’ve managed anyway. With half a galaxy to roam, and centuries to learn from my mistakes, I’ve been able to lose myself when needed. But I treat every moment as precious. As my father knew, so do I. Nothing lasts forever.
      Haze-world likes this.
  3. SeaBreeze
    I know I'm going to have to take more time to read this but It's sounding pretty cool at the moment, I'm interested Cogito.
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