It`s the first day of 2018...whhoo? I spent the time before midnight listening to Bob Marely hoping "Everything will be alright" would seep into my new year. I was talking to someone at the time to, I had mentioned to them something that occurred to me. Does the new year mean anything? Time is a concept in a sense. I mean sure it exists things age and decompose, the sun rises and sets, seasons change, and mountains erode. Natural signs of time passing. However, the way we measure it is pulled out of our own ass. Hours and days, are human constructs that everyone just agreed upon at some point. Months have been added to the calendar moving newyears. If the marker of a new year can be moved does it have any real meaning?
Outside of time measurements, what does one gain from the New Year? A fresh start, new year new me? I like the idea, hell I`m trying that somewhat this year as well which I elaborate on below but really how long do those resoulantoins last? They don`t, mostly because they're made out of a sense of obligation than any real desire or crisis to change. Change requires a push many cases and New Years is a backdrop, not a push.
I don`t know really, those are just musings I`ve had and like New Years they really don`t amount to anything. I find myself in an odd place going into 2018. Graduating High school I did as was expected and went to college...and dropped out after one semester. I`m not going into the reasons for this now maybe some other blog post but this January would have been my second semester. Now I`m just here twisting in the wind. I planned to be in school at this point, so I`m here without a plan trying to get a job and having no real idea where I`ll end up. That makes me uneasy and setting it on the backdrop of New Years....it`s..something.
During my life a lot has been going on around me. I grew up in a lot of conflicts, a lot of chaos, and taking care of a lot of people. I was always just reacting to what was clattering about around me, doing as expected, taking care of what clearly needed to be done. Now I`m not where I need to react I`m where I need to do and I`m not sure I know how to do that. I do plan to try this month and this year. Get a job, step my foot out there hope I don`t fall down. I will be using this blog more, this year as well. Wanted to get something up today and this is really nothing more than loose thoughts but it`s there.
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