Nothing and Everything

You want to say something good,
you want me to write something enthralling,
captivating...
...but I want to write something
because...I need to know,
I need to show myself...
my thoughts...
Touch them, grasp them...
know them like cold hard things,
that are measured and bound,
calculated, tabulated...
answered by fingers on a hand.
But I can't quite grasp them,
I can't clasp onto it...
these deep blue swelling tides,
bubbling, unfurling,,, it is...
what this is...I feel,,,nothing...I think...
everything...is slipping away,
Nothing... is all I have,
these thoughts...are all I have,
but they are...they are nothing,
nothing but yet...everything?...
Everything...
I cannot escape, but I must hold on hope,
until morning light beckons,
and that crisp callow air seeps through,
the darkness of the night fades away,
to be lost for another day
until tomorrow comes...until tomorrow comes...