On being non-binary

Published by LitWhispers in the blog LitWhispers's blog. Views: 221

It can take some time to come to terms with who you are. For me, it turned out to be eighteen years of self-loathing and unadulterated violence against myself to meet with the version of me that I would end up with.

Nothing in life is ever easy, despite often thinking the opposite. Peeling an orange requires the skill not to be sore when you wind up with squirted juice on your eyes. Recreating yourself out of broken pieces is a meticulous endeavour that requires the patience to appease yourself in times of need.

I am transgender.

Not only that, but I am non-binary.


What a thing to unload unto teenager me. Took me bloody years to understand what that truly meant for my future.

For those who don't know, or have a limited knowledge of, what being transgender is, a quick refresher can never harm.

Being transgender means that my gender differs from the one that was assigned to me at birth, which was decided upon on the genitalia I had as a newborn. I more specifically identify as non-binary, this happens when people fall outside of the gender binary popularised by western culture. The idea of “opposite sexes” and being forced into one just didn’t agree with the way that I’ve felt my whole life.

I had originally wanted to throw in some numbers, but decided against it afterwards. Being LGBTQ+ is a very personal thing, and while GLAAD announced that there were millions of people (just in America) who do not identify within their Assigned Gender At Birth (AGAB), I (like many) believe that polls do not correctly reflect an accurate demographic. This is due to people still being forced in the closet because of fear of discrimination. The numbers are wrong.

Gender identity exists as a beautiful, multi-coloured spectrum.

Most people who have had the same realisation as I, even those that came out to a supportive entourage, have no access to Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) due to costs, waiting lists or simply living in a country that does not accept or is not welcoming of who they are. Most people do not have access to the family support that they deserve either, nor their friends'. Trans people are often harassed, sometimes murdered, and that can happen in any country around the world.

So, what's it like to be non-binary? It's actually easier to understand than people might think. Because some are afraid to come out, and not everyone has an NB friend they can ask questions (for lack of one, or for fear of asking questions,) I'm giving anyone a free pass to query a queer, so that you are free to ask any question whatsoever. I will try to answer to the best of my ability, having lived in and around LGBTQ+ communities for over a decade now.

(Of course, my answers may differ to that of other non-binary people, for who we are, mere mortals, is a very personal thing.)
  • Madman
  • LitWhispers
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