Pity Party

You are all invited to next Friday's Pity Party here on Blog Writing Forums. Save those complaints and grievances for then. We'll be having a smorgasboard of food which will be guaranteed to give you even more reasons to express your dissatisfaction with the world. Have you ever tried gherkin ice cream? How about cabbage cake? Vegemite smoothies available on request.
Our main speaker will of course be me. Let me take you on a thrilling journey of discovery as I share my tear-stained childhood. There's the wicked step-mother who wouldn't let me watch TV until midnight every night. Then there is the bully brother who refused to laugh at my jokes. You'll come away grateful for your own problem free past. Paper the Poor Old Pauper might just be my next Book Title. But don't cry for me Argentina, Australia or America. Im doing Ok I guess. Im hardly deserving of your sympathy, am I. Am I?