Reflections on memoir writing

You are overthinking this. Just go ahead and write that first draft. Then go back over the whole damned thing as though you are an outsider, and see if the pictures are there. Also try seriously to read it as an outsider with the idea of seeing if it is interesting to an outsider. And read it with respect to sentence variety, action verbs, and so on. Look for redundancies and super-sweet cute phrasing and remove it. This is called "killing your darlings" and you'll find that 99 times out of a hundred some phrasing that really tickles your fancy is either overbroad, cliched, or overused.

Whether it's too big for you depends on what you are trying to accomplish. I'm doing mine primarily for my daughters, so they have some picture of the inner me (and the outer me when I am gone.)

Please bear in mind, though, that most people's "memoirs" are boring for outsiders to read, unless the writing generalizes so that the reader can say, oh yeah, I've been there.

Sounds like you have a desperate need to write it, so write it and leave the judgments for later.

You can do this.

I think you've hit on the key in your post this morning: What is the point? What are you trying to say, overall, when you tell you're story? Then make sure every chapter, every personal event, leans into that point. If it's about having hope, how did each event lead you to have hope? How did the addition of each event after that feed that hope? When did you feel hopeless?
Even if you never sell a single copy, this kind of deep look at your life will help you improve as a person, and by writing it down, improve as an author.
Good luck.

Not too big, but maybe too much at once. My story is about a YA 'writing' his 'memoir'. He is afraid of doing it cause it means facing things. He is being taught to write one thing at a time, and think about one thing at a time, and FINNISH ALL before even re-reading ANY of it. His mentor tells him this to prevent him from being overwhelmed. He does not listen. At first.

Keep bugging me about my memoir.

'the idea that hope remains always'—There you have it. There's your message If that's sitting in that backbrain of yours while you're writing, you'll be telling a story worth reading. I look forward to reading it, for sure.

You will get there -- I saw your workshop entries and they are pretty good first drafts

As for your alleged perfectionism, that's a description not an obligation. As they say, the perfect is enemy to the good. .GL

At some point I've mentioned my "monster", here it looks like you need to see if you can let your work take over your hands and let it write its self.

Of course, I'm a newbie here and whatever I say should be taken with however much salt is applicable. I just felt the need to throw in my $0.02 here.