Seeing ourselves from anothers' lens

The thing about love is that it can't be forced, but it can be emulated and still be praiseworthy; "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God." Jesus

A peacemaker is not necessarily a loving person; I've had to learn this myself. If we love peace more than people, God still commends us for it.

I look back on the bullies in my youth, and I still resent the way they treated me. But, if I were to meet them today I would show them grace, even if I don't love and understand them like I should, and I would be honest with God about my feelings of resentment rather than confronting them with it and risk old scars becoming fresh wounds again.

You're not fake for not being able to love as easily as others seem to; a fake person would not admit that they have such struggles, and I would think most people do struggle with love in their own ways.

I'm an extremely compassionate person, but I still battle with actual love because it, sometimes, has to be harsh, and I don't have it in me to be harsh with people without it devastating me, so I just show gentleness with them, even when I know it's the wrong thing to do; that is not fully-developed love on my part.

I'm the kind of person people go to for nurturing and comfort after someone had to come down on them for something, like coworkers who get yelled at by the manager over a mistake who seem to find me, oddly enough, a motherly type figure who can help them feel better.

But, thankfully, God commends tenderness, even when it comes at the expense of wisdom, because He values people's feelings, as well. He even compares Himself to a compassionate mother in Scripture - Isaiah 49:15.

I know others, on the other hand, who are the inverse of myself, personality-wise - my manager, for example. He's a Christian, but he has a very harsh alpha-male disposition, and he struggles with love from that angle because he tends to be unnecessarily cruel with people when they do something he doesn't like.

We can, then, take comfort in the purpose for the cross - it was to set right everything we're incapable of setting right in ourselves.

Thank you.

I think you're right, that experience is what makes empathy possible.

I'll admit that it's emotionally exhausting having to work with other people, being the introverted person that I am, especially in a somewhat tense environment. But when I'm approached by someone who needs to talk, I seem naturally inclined, in spite of my discomfort, to listen and offer as much affirmation as I can to help alleviate whatever troubled emotions they were needing to express.

So, it's gotten me quite the reputation.

I remember a new employee coming back to where I was working one day and he, for some reason, opened up to me about being prone to anxiety and depression and having to take medication for it just to deal with everyday life. My first interaction with him occurred when I impressed him with my knowledge of table-top role-playing games; he made figurines, locations and prop pieces for his own games, and I knew exactly what they were, so I assume that, with me being the only other 'nerdy' person in the place besides himself, he felt comfortable enough coming to me that day.

Afterward, he came back a lot when things slowed down just to chat. It never stopped being uncomfortable for me, but I never let it show because I wanted him to feel important. I'm not as prone to depression, but I have suffered extreme anxiety at times, so I really did empathize with him in that way.