So Now Who's Gonna Cry For You?

By lilix morgan · Mar 26, 2009 · 549 · 11

I feel a little... envigorated today.

Okay, not today, but in the last three hours I've felt pretty darn well. Minus the cold factor.

My day, overall, sucked. I'm getting sick, couldn't write this morning no matter how hard I tried, and blew up on a friend of mine for no reason at all, and felt like crap afterwards about it.

Until 11th period, the end of the day. Study hall again.

Mike was sitting at the head of the table, me alongside on the end, so I was kind of next to him. We were both doing homework, well, he was, I was just daydreaming about writing something epic.

I did something stupid, silly. Mike looked up from his packet, taking one of the earbuds out and looked at me, and laughed.

I took out one of mine and stared. "What?" I asked, smiling already.

"You're adorable."

It stunned me. It was the first time he said I was adorable since we broke up. And, if I remember quite correctly, he never once said I was adorable before we dated, either.

I smiled so big and laughed for a good five minutes. Just giggled like a loon.

And for some reason, it made my day. So now I'm happy for some reason, and able to write. I started chapter eight with what I think is some good kick butt strength, which makes me happy as a mad hatter.

I'm keeping my head high.
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Comments

It seems to me like this Mike guy still likes you. Why did you guys break up?

I think depending on the answer to that question some different things may be happening here.

thefreshman, Mar 27, 2009
He broke up with me because he said he "didn't feel the same." Which threw me off when it happened, because it was right around the time of a fight we got into (just a few days prior to the breakup) and I thought it might have something to do with that. He said it didn't.

But then he acts like this.

lilix morgan, Mar 27, 2009
Yah, he obviously has conflicting emotions on this, I think he probably is insecure about his feelings about you or he doesn't want to hurt you if things go wrong.

thefreshman, Mar 27, 2009
So what does that mean? That he likes me, but he's afraid of either hurting me or he's unsure of his own feelings?

Well, that sucks. But I guess that would explain several things. Like him avoiding my questions when I suggest hanging out with him, and stuff like that.

lilix morgan, Mar 27, 2009
I think you seriously need to talk to him now.

(gee I feel like I'm reading a story when I read your blog, it's interesting... *ducks as an apple flies her way*)

Neha, Mar 27, 2009
So what does that mean? That he likes me, but he's afraid of either hurting me or he's unsure of his own feelings?

That is exactly what it means. I mean, talk to him about it. Then you know for sure, if he's afraid of hurting you then there isn't much you can do about it.

thefreshman, Mar 27, 2009
Tee hee Neha. You just made my day go up on the scale by one point!

I'm going to talk to him, soon. I don't know when, but it won't be much longer. I'm just afraid, because the last time he displayed feelings for me like this after we broke up, and I asked him about it, he said he didn't mean it that way, that he was just trying to be a good friend, and then got sad that I mistook it.

So there's the undying fear that if I ask him about it, well, things might hit the fan. I don't want to ruin that.

I thought maybe, just maybe, it would be best to just ask him on a date first. A non-commital date, just to see how things would go over.

lilix morgan, Mar 27, 2009
Yah, I'm going to give you some advice here, since my love life is in such good shape (dripping in sarcasm). Take it or leave it.

You are always going to have the fear of rejection, the fear of losing the friendship. You need to realize that after about a week or two of awkwardness it will all be just fine. AS long as you didn't f*** it up to the nth degree.

If a normal person asked 100 people on a date and only 1 said yes, they will sit and wonder why 99 said no. A wise person will only think of the one that said yes.

thefreshman, Mar 29, 2009
What exactly does it mean if you messed it up to the nth degree? Like, example?

And I like that one wise dude. He knows how to think.

lilix morgan, Mar 30, 2009
Like idk something I don't see you doing. Like freaking out if he said no. Ignoring him. Stuff like that.

thefreshman, Mar 30, 2009
Ohhhh, okay. Yeah, I'll try not to do that.

lilix morgan, Mar 30, 2009

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So Now Who's Gonna Cry For You?

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