some poems ive written

another day:
morning light creeps through
and the day begins anew,
more hours to needlessly waste away
in a life of nothing.
Live days of quiet mourning,
hidden under the thin viel
of forgotten conversations and
fleeting laughs, buried under smiles
lays the truth,
pain and sufferring.
Worries and sorrow, plans
that wither away into nothingness.
And so the new day begins,
what shall become of it is not yet known,
another day that wears away,
one day closer to that inevitable end,
Many dream,
To leave it all, and begin elsewhere,
only to live someone else's despair
So I move through time,
the past laid out behind me,
bitter memories fill these waters,
clinging to fragments of my soul,
till one day there is nothing left,
but me in a hole, left to rot away.
Yes I will die one day,
or so I hope and pray.

never be the same:
she has a sorrow deep inside,
from when she planned to take a train
with a boy she met many moons ago.
He was the first to buy her ticket.
arrived early so she would not miss it.
But sadly now she can never depart,
for he took her ticket and tore it apart.
So she waits idly by the yellow line,
her heart lost forever in time.

I have a sorrow deep inside,
from when I planned to grow a tree
for a girl I met many moons ago.
I took my time and watered the ground,
nothing but sadness was what i found.
From another time before I could see,
she could not help what happened to me.
So now I wait idly by the grassy mound,
where my heart remains forever bound.

Haunted still by those fading memories,
despite how much we may beg and plead,
for promises made turn into broken dreams,
we both once foolishly tried to lay a seed,
and now both lost in this station it seems.
She flirts and fucks to numb the pain,
I smoke and drink to forget her name,
but she knows things will never be the same,
I knew that things would never be the same.

Lost at Sea
I once was someone who could not see,
I once was a sailor lost at sea,
lost at sea and never found,
Instead i was captured, tortured and bound,
and taken somewhere beneath the ground.
Here the sun shines but there is still darkness,
a place where silence slowly turns to madness.
A foul stench of misery festers in the air,
chained to the wall with shackles of despair,
to be eternally trapped in this cage of lament,
they'd not let me leave even though I repent.

Yet i still plan on freedom very soon,
for i have been here many moons,
and in the night i im filled with fearr,
I hold my breath and wait to hear,
dreadfull sounds muffled between the walls,
hushed voices amongst which i hear her call.
Forever haunted by ghostly remnants of the past...
for what has been heard cannot be unheard,
and what has been done cannot be undone.

So now my dreams are filled with hate,
for i have been dealt a bitter fate,
and now i wish she'd never known,
perhaps i should have never shown...
But the truth will always set you free,
still freedom has yet to come to me,
so now I must escape and find my way,
i know i'll leave this place someday,
in a short while i'll be free of this pain,
i will escape and find happiness again.

Tree of Sorrow
Empty and alone,
Hearts fill with sorrow as the young become grown,
from the past we borrow regrets that are sown,
into fertile grounds,
the tree of despair ascends from the mound,
its unripe smiles age into bitter frowns.
Take a taste of the fruit from the tree of despair,
and know of the truth for nothing can compare.
Taste the fruit so that you may see clearly,
and do good unto others with happiness and sincerely.
As I have eaten many times,
so too will you have to taste someday
the bitter fruit will come your way
but when you finish your humbling treat,
careful of its stones that fall by your feet,
for they will surely take root and begin to grow,
great trees of sorrow of your very own.

Dreamer
a burning inside,
the flame of inquisition,
the pain of pride,
a perplexing position,
a confounding proposition,
perhaps i was to keen,
it was nothing but a dream,
but i am a dreamer,
still i wish i'd never seen her,
but when all is said and done,
Prosperous is the one,
who dreams of the grandest dreams,
for it is he who see's,
with open eyes and heart,
for only they have the key,
and only they can fit the part,
to see beyond,
to escape the pond,
and be free in serenity,
it cannot always be,
as one has dreamed it so,
its time for me to go,
but i cannot awaken,
from this eternal nightmare,
and i fear i'll never dream again.

TIME
so many moments lost to time,
things of the present seemingly fade away
into the deep delphian past,
filled with both moments of greatness
and times of sadness.
Joy and woe are but one in the same,
inventions of the imagination,
the burden of consciousness,
and so we dance away in a blurry haze
captivated by its incessant tune.
Bottle up your regrets
and cast them into the deep blue unknown,
to be lost amongst a sea of disparity
and wasted lives that were lived in vain.
such a pain,
to know of truth beyond what is claimed,
some will never see,
that we spend our lives lost at sea,
to never be known and forgotten in history.

NOTHINGNESS
many struggle to survive,
while we struggle to keep our minds preoccupied.
Boredom has created a society of glutenous pigs,
that feed from troughs filled with self pity and ignorance.
Many claim to know of sufferring,
but they know nothing of true pain.
Bombs of peace that fall by their dozens take innocent lives,
the ignorant and cowardly are the ones that survive,
the evil and powerfull are those who thrive,
many tools they have contrived,
to keep us locked away in our own thoughts,
but we must see beyond these shackles,
and see the truth with absolute clairity.
Like savage beasts, they release us to the streets,
where we can never find peace,
so heartless;
trapped in this ever lasting darkness.
Like a dream, it seems, many of us try to escape fate.
but now i have nothing left,
everything i lost I kept,
so I accept nothingness.

WHAT AM I?
what am i?
I am something,
a bundle of mass that thinks and feels,
chemicals and neurons that whizz around is a blurry haze,
molecules crafted by time and chance to produce me,
a living entity,
yes i think and feel,
and perhaps i am something real,
but i am no differrent to things that simply are.
The concious manisfistation of the universe,
I am embody all that is known,
I am aware of all that has been,
and I know of things yet to come.
Yes I have my own place in time like others,
this arrangment is unique to me,
for this one moment in history,
within this great ocean of space and time.
So i embrace all that I am,
knowing once i was part of a sun,
we were all once united as one,
thoughts and memories as tangible as this pen I hold,
once i was told,
that we live to die,
but i live to live,
the differrence is
some live on through what they give.

I do not die: (my version of Mary Elizabeth Frye famous poem)
the slow embrace of time encompasses all that i know,
i am me but not what i was just a moment ago,
i am an arrangement particles shoving to and fro,
and i will cease to be I someday,
but what it is that makes me will never pass away,
For every good deed committed will carry on in some way,
so remember to act with happiness in your heart,
its up to us all to play our small part,
use love as your map and wisdom your compass,
and things will change with the filling of the hourglass,
and so embrace these particles for they are you,
and in a very short time they'll become something new,
so when i should meet my inevitable demise,
Please do not stand at my grave and cry,
for i am not there, I do not die.