Stress

By Corbyn · May 23, 2016 · ·
  1. We all deal with stress (or try to) in our own ways. But what do you do when your normal stress coping mechanisms or skills just aren't up to the task? Or when the stresses become too repetitive too often?

    In my case, I'm always under stress, it's the nature of my job. I have noticed over the last few months that the amounts of stress I'm under, and the frequency has escalated, not lessened. That's a problem that is not only affecting my physical, but also mental health.

    It's the mental part that's probably bugging me the most. I find that I'm far more snappy, and unpleasant to be around. In situations where I'm more personable with people I rely on, I've found that I'm far more clingy than I've ever been. And right now I just don't like this version of myself all that much.

    My creativity is suffering. It's getting harder and harder for me to claw and bite out time to pursue the things that help alleviate some of my stress like writing or painting. I know this isn't helpful in the least, but at the same time, I have no energy or drive to get things done like normal. I finally had a weekend off, I went to a seminar Saturday on Tax issues for writer's then slept from 7PM Saturday night to 7AM Sunday morning, and never really got out of bed most of Sunday.

    Physically, the stress is eating me alive. I've had chronic headaches ( thankfully not migraines) since November. I'm not eating normally, and during the week, most nights I don't really sleep, and can't focus. It's become mandatory for me to address the reasons my stress levels are so crazy lately.

    So why am I sharing all of this? I'm sharing not for sympathy, but because too often people make light of stress, and what it does or can do to a person. It affects every aspect of your personality, your life, and how you live it, or the quality associated with it. If you know someone who's not quite themselves please talk to them. More maybe going on than you realize, and if you're that person whose carrying around that extra load, don't be afraid to share it.

Comments

  1. Talisien
    Thank you for this simple sharing.

    As someone who recently discovered that stress and anxiety can affect your physical health to the point of significant disability I can understand and empathise.

    Also you highlighted the main issue; that of lack of understanding and support that is given to those suffering from mental health issues. it is never easy dealing with these problems but it is so much harder on your own.
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  2. Corbyn
    @Talisien Your not alone, and your much stronger when you lean on those around you. I know that's a very hard thing to do. I know sometimes it's impossible. But it's your life, and you deserve to be happy, even if it means letting go of what ever it is that might be stressing you out. That can be impossible, but don't let the stress or stressors win.
  3. Lew
    I have a simple philosophy that you might find helpful... stress is what you experience when someone or something is trying to kill you. Having experienced that, everything else is an annoyance.

    Now practically: yes, we all experience stress which are those things that stimulate the "fight or flight" response in which your body responds as though something actually is trying to kill you. Since it is not considered polite to respond to your boss, co-worker or subordinate by punching them in the nose, nor can you run screaming out of the room, you are left with the witches' brew of hormones that is preparing your body to do something extremely physical, but doesn't get the opportunity to burn it off. There are a couple of things you can do:

    1. Take a deep breath. If that person isn't actually trying to kill you, maim you, get you fired, or all of the other really unpleasant things, then don't respond with stress. You actually have a choice, and control, over how you respond. A good read on this subject is "The Meditations of Marcus Aurelius," by Marcus Aurelius. It begins:
    "Begin the morning by saying to thyself, I shall meet with the busy-body, the ungrateful, arrogant, deceitful, envious, unsocial. All these things happen to them by reason of their ignorance of what is good and evil. But I who have seen the nature of the good that it is beautiful, and of the bad that it is ugly, and the nature of him who does wrong, that it is akin to me, not only of the same blood or seed, but that it participates in the same intelligence and the same portion of the divinity, I can neither be injured by any of them, for no one can fix on me what is ugly, nor can I be angry with my kinsman, nor hate him, For we are made for co-operation, like feet, like hands, like eyelids, like the rows of the upper and lower teeth. To act against one another then is contrary to nature; and it is acting against one another to be vexed and to turn away. "

    Sound familiar? Not bad after 1900 years. He also said elsewhere (he was Roman emperor when he wrote this) that "as Emperor, I have all of Rome. As Marcus, I have all the universe." A together kind of guy.
    2. Secondly, if the stress response is triggered, there is nothing you can do other than burn the stress off the way the body intended: if you can't fight or run away, you can at least set aside some time for intense exercise, doing whatever it is you do. Your body can't tell the difference whether you are punching a person, or a punching bag. Everyday for the past 50 or 60 years, I have tried to bike, run or swim hard for an hour or so, usually around noon. The fight or flight response doesn't have to be immediate, but it needs to come while the hormones are swimming around in your system. Because if the person stressing you out isn't really going to hurt or kill you, those undissipated hormones will!

    I hope this helps!
  4. Talisien
    Lew what a lovely simplistic way of handling everyday stress. Unfortunately I deal with PTSD which means I am triggered most of the time and the physical result is total exhaustion and inexplicable loss of feeling in my legs so I can't get rid of that cesspit of hormones quite so easily. :oops:

    I am learning coping mechanisms and now have to look to other sources of income like hopefully writing. :)

    Corbyn it would be lovely to have people in my life I could rely on or even talk to. My family walked away from me and most of my friends left recently when the physical symptoms meant I could not join them as I used to. There is also a stigma to mental health issues that people find difficult to deal with. I was due to be married this month but the diagnosis of PTSD my partner couldn't handle the responsibility.

    I don't share this for sympathy. Simply a matter of fact. And I intend to use it to fuel my writing.
  5. Corbyn
    @Lew Thanks for the advice, and your right, it does come down to a fight or flight response and how you burn the stress away.

    @Talisien I'm glad to hear you are learning new ways of coping with your stress. Writing is frankly what keeps me sane. Sometimes it's hard to bite and claw out the time to do it, but I find that when I do consistently, and push back at those things that are stressing me, it does help. I know you didn't share for sympathy, and neither did I, but I'm glad you did share.

    As for the rest, people leave for lots of reasons, but the right people will come into your life when you need them. I strongly believe that, even if I don't believe in much else.

    I've lived for 12 years with someone who suffered from PTSD, and I've felt responsible for that person. What happened to him, and his PTSD didn't just change him. It affected me, changed us both really. I'm sorry your partner didn't stay with you. In my experience, which is much different than yours, PTSD is a bitch. Knowing what I know now, I realize it's silly for me to feel like my ex was my responsibility. When your dealing with PTSD it isn't a matter of responsibility, and it shouldn't be. It's a matter of caring for the other person to the best of your ability. As I said before, sometimes the people in our lives don't stay as long as we'd like, but that doesn't mean that they weren't there for a reason.

    I don't mean this to sound like a soap box, just relating my limited experiences over the years.
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