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Surreal dialogue (This is me copying Samuel Beckett)

Published by Mackers in the blog Mackers's blog. Views: 249

Am I saying anything?

Yes, I’m sure you’re saying something.

What is it, then? What I’m saying.

Oh, well, I wouldn’t be too confident on the substance.

Yes, neither would I.

It was inquisitive if that’s what you mean.


Yes. Very adversarial.

The last thing I’d want is for you to think I’m being hostile.

Oh no, not at all. It’s good that we can discuss these things.

Flesh out the issues.

Yes. Of course.

I’ve been troubled by what occupies my thoughts these days.

Why, what’s wrong?

That’s the point. I’m troubled with it.

Not to worry. It could just be one of those times where there’s very little which can be defined; it’ll soon pass.

Life can be so weird, can’t it?


Full of idiosyncrasies. A magical wealth of stuff for the imagination.

Well I don’t know about you but I don’t have much imagination, I’m afraid. They don’t teach you imagination in school.

That’s a shame. I look at normal things and use my imagination all the time. It’s easy.

Can you teach me?

It’s a sort of gift. Like the other day when I looked at a washing machine it swallowed me whole.

Wow. That’s amazing.

Yes. I could be taking a shower and I’d imagine myself being sucked right up into the shower head, warped through a single dispenser. I’d find myself sliding down the big tube, mixing with all the shite and waste that people dump through their sinks and, voila, eventually I’d find myself at a cleaning plant.

That could be a metaphor.


Yes. It could be your mind indulging in escapism.

By God. That’s what’s been troubling me!

And how do you feel now?

I dunno. I can’t put it into words.

I thought you said you had imagination? Well, go on. Use it.

Okay, hold on…I feel good. Yes. Good.



It’s good that you feel good. Very positive.

It’s not that I was feeling negative before. Just a bit perplexed, you know?

I was sure I got that vibe from you. I’m glad it’s gone, now.

But when one issue goes away, it’s always the case that another one arises, you know?

Why do you say that?

From experience. I sense there’ll be something around the corner, waiting to bite me in the arse. I can feel it.

Can you see it?

No. Just feel it.

That could be a metaphor.


Yes. It could be your mind indulging in paranoia.

By God. That’s what’s been troubling me!

And how do you feel now?

Just the same. You’re quite the observationist you know.

Thank you. I prefer to see myself as a perspicacious individual.

By God what a fantastic word. What does it mean?

It doesn’t matter what it means. What matters is that it’s got four syllables.

You’re quite the antidisestablishmentarian for saying that.

Shut up (pause) That makes zero sense.

Sorry. So what is it you think I could be afraid of?

I can’t say with pure confidence. Fear comes in many variables; there are an infinite number of contexts in which it arises, external events and the level to which the individual concerned interprets his own reality--all of which have a bearing on his level of fear.

Like cause and effect?

Yes. Exactly.

Well I’m stumped if I know what the cause is.

If you ask me the cause is irrelevant. What matters is you are. Would you agree?

Yes. I suppose my whole life I’ve been quite agreeable.

Maybe that’s your problem. You need to learn how to say no.

You think so?

Yes. Just… Say…No.

Sounds like a coherent strategy.

It’s merely the opposite of saying yes all the time. It’s very simple when you think about it.

It probably won’t work then. If I had problems saying yes a lot most likely I’ll have problems saying no a lot.

Maybe you should meet in the middle. Compromise.

That’s what life’s all about, isn’t it? Consensus.


Wait. How will I know when to say yes, and when to say no? I can’t possibly work it out in the heat of the moment. Can I delegate responsibility to you?

No. you need to make your own decisions.
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