The opener to my 5 work, 1 project endeavor. Your thoughts?

By mypensmysoul · Nov 25, 2007 · ·


  1. A/N: Feel free to review, offer your thoughts, whatever. I didn't place this in the reviewers forum because it's far from, in my opinion, from being remotely reviewable. However, I am excited about starting my project and must share. (It's 4AM where I am, and I cannot possibly wake anyone up locally.)

    Anyways, ahem. Without any further adieu.


    I guess what I miss the most is my brother’s voice.
    Ever since I was a little girl, I loved my brother’s voice. I’d ask him every night to sing me a lullabye, and he’d always oblige, and I’d always be cheering for an encore. Sometimes I begged for so many encores that I’d actually drift off mid-song. Sometimes I’d wake up and he’d still be in my room, asleep on the floor.
    He even made up a song for me, that he recorded on a cassette tape, for whenever he wasn’t around to give me a lullabye, and a goodnight kiss. It was called “Twelve Roses.” On the cassette tape he played the piano too, which I thought was so cool, since we didn’t have a piano in my room. Every night I put it in the it in the tape player, demanding that he sing with the tape, and he continually delivered for me.
    And even though I’m not so little anymore, and it’s been a long time since he accompanied that tape cassette, I still play it, every night. I just lay in bed, listening to the vibrations.
    The vibrations are all that I have left. No melody, no piano. No voice.
    Just vibrations.
    Just silence.
    Which I have been living in since I was seven years old.

Comments

  1. Daniel
    Looking good so far, IMO. It'd be interesting to see how you you continue from here. Looks like a great introduction to the story.

    One grammatical thing: He even made up a song for me, that he recorded on a cassette tape, for whenever he wasn’t around to give me a lullabye, and a goodnight kiss..

    Sort of a run-on. Or at least looks like it at 1 a.m. :p Try dividing it into two sentences.


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