The Ponderings at Night

So I've never really done one of these on here yet, and this is the first one. With no lady friend in my life right now, it's become easier to focus on high quality writing and to do it more often, but I have also been pondering some things:

What will come of all this? I'm currently doing a long novel called Spill the Blood, and one of the recurring thoughts to my head is whether or not what I'm doing here will ever really see the light of day. I have basically no-one to show this to right now, and maybe that's just because I'm so closed off in the little gated community I live in, and maybe it will change when I get out to college in the fall, but God, am I going to get this published? I would love to get something published, and I did try last summer, but that never came to fruition. Maybe I'm looking in the wrong places. Maybe I'm not trying hard enough. Maybe I shouldn't think about it until I'm really "ready" anyway.

But it keeps recurring - will what I'm writing here come to anything?

This really is a long, long, complex work. Maybe it was a bit much to bite off the old chopping block, but I'm having fun with it and it's going pretty well so far. I wonder what I'll do next - I'd love to try another first person endeavour, that's for sure.

I am proud, though, to have continued for this long - more than 130 pages total now, which is a new record for me. And it still seems relatively fresh and exciting to me, too.