Step right up and don't be shy. Come now, come now. Make room so those in the back can see. Tonight we've got things to delight and disgust in equal measure. Melania's boobie pics and Pence getting trounced at the theater. You there, yes you. You look like a a strapping lad. Bet you've no trouble with the ladies. What's that you say? You prefer the fellahs'? Well, I'm not one to judge, but be that the case, then there's a tent over yonder that caters to such things, and another tent next to it for people to argue about it. What was that ma'am? Ah, yes, the loo is back that way, but you'll have to traverse the Who Can Use Which Loo Lane to get there. I hope you don't have to go too badly. Maybe the bushes would be a better option. Now, now, don't get impatient, I promise the show is about to begin, but remember that our performers have to eat too so be as generous as you can when the hat gets passed to you. Empty them pockets. We've got hoochy kootchy and smoochy smoochy and for those we aren't teetotaled we've even got hooch. And from the looks of a few of you, you'll be wanting some of that. Once you pass the the flaps, remember that some things are true and some things are lies, but all of them are here to entertain and distract as the Big Top steals the limelight, your homes, your future, the very air you breathe.
Everyone ready? Yes, you all look glassy-eyed and oblivious enough. Click on in, click on in. Don't push. There's room for every rube.
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