GrahamLewis Sep 15, 2021 at 5:48 PM
A lot in there, EF.

First of all, well and sincerely written.

I too have a list like that, lost opportunities and lost friends and mottled memories. And my list of dearly departed grows longer almost daily, it seems. But I truly believe we only knew a part of those people, and we don't know how they felt later about life, or about us, and I do remind myself that sites like Facebook generally show the illusory best of people. And I also know that we tend to amplify our faults while exaggerating the good qualities of others; we're all human. We also know the surface story of some tragic events, but we don't know how those who suffered them responded inside. We can only paint a picture of what we think we know, which is no doubt a lot less than we think.

And there's also this. The fact that we, you and I, are still alive while so many are gone tends to create an illusion of immortality; we feel like survivors, but the truth is we're simply stragglers on the road to whatever lies ahead. My only suggestion to you, for what it's worth, is to stop dwelling on the losses and perceived losses and to be grateful that your life continues for now, that you can still see sunrises and feel the warm wind and, maybe, find love again or for the first time, and even, if the spirit moves you, take advantage of opportunities to demonstrate kindness toward other survivors, and perhaps honor the memory of those gone before us.

Our own sunset will come soon enough, and those dark evening breezes will bring mystery, and, perhaps a few answers, perhaps reunions, and perhaps a clear awareness of something we vaguely knew all along.

So I believe. And hope.

Wishing you all the best, and peace. Be kind to yourself.

GL
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