The Tears that Silence Brings

By DanesDarkLand · Sep 20, 2012 · 611 · 5
  1. A bit of poetry I wrote about a year ago.


    The tears that silence brings.

    Silence, something that says you aren't saying anything.
    Who knew that such silence could cause such suffering?
    Keeping your words to yourself,
    Keep anger inside, rage inside, sadness inside,
    so the other can survive and keep going.
    When there are no words to speak,
    no tides to turn aside,
    only your thoughts to keep you company, there is still only silence.

    Years of keeping a family together,
    for the sake of the children,
    the silence can be overwhelming.
    In spite of all the yelling,
    but not saying what you need to say,
    what tears at your heart,
    what clogs your throat, there is still only silence.

    Being strong in the face of the problems
    that would crumble a weaker person,
    bring them to their knees.
    Your legs are still stiff and strong,
    your shoulders wide but burdened
    worries piled there, there is still only silence.

    After years have gone by,
    the words still won't come,
    stuck behind a dam strong and high
    feels like it will never break, there is still only silence.

    After a loved one has passed on,
    the inner strength that has kept you going
    flows away from you.
    Words you needed to speak had not been spoken in time, there is still only silence.

    At the end of the silence, there are the tears that silence brings.

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  1. Mckk
    I'm not sure about the first line - aren't you spelling out the obvious in a rather long-winded way? There's "says" and "saying" in close proximity, and if it says something, which is that you're NOT saying anything - I just don't think this line works.

    And to describe silence in so many words kinda negates the fact that it's meant to be silence, and silence itself is self-explanatory. You do not need to explain to me what silence is - show me silence, or make me feel silence, but do not tell me what it is without shedding extra light on the topic.

    I do, however, love the title. I also really like the final verse.
    Mckk, Sep 20, 2012
  2. mugen shiyo
    I hope I'm not being too critical, but I felt this poem could have been better if you focused on describing the scenes of silence in a dysfunctional relationship rather than repetitively mentioning silence. I liked the symbol of silence in this particular instance, though. while the poem doesn't seem to draw me in too deep, I thought the last line was crushing. Very sad.

    I admittedly almost never revise my poems until maybe months later when I come across them again but you should revise this one. It has a good subject, good material, and I think it could be a lot better than what you have now.
    mugen shiyo, Sep 22, 2012
  3. DanesDarkLand
    Revised, but may not be as expected. Some of this is my life. Other pieces are from friends.

    The tears that silence brings.

    They say they love you,
    but throw their words like a spear, driven deep.
    Try to deflect the anger, but their aim is true.
    Speak to console and diffuse the anger,
    but not your heart or your hurt.
    When there are no tides to turn aside,
    only your thoughts keep you company.

    Keep the family together
    for the sake of the children.
    Don't make them suffer.
    The noise in your mind is deafening.
    Why do they get to live free and unburdened?
    Peacemaker. You want to scream,
    but don't dare. Say nothing.
    What else can you do?

    They stand tall and proud, shoulders straight.
    You struggle under the burden heaped on,
    the weight of worry slowing your steps.
    No easy smile finds your lips,
    no memory of the happiness can be found.
    You pull the weight. Say nothing.
    They need you.

    Long years spent paying a debt never owed,
    speak reassuring words that are never enough.
    The reason to remain silent is forgotten,
    the words still won't come.
    Your not the person they married.
    They loved who you were,
    not who they made you.

    Death has visited your family,
    taking the reason to keep going with them.
    You did not share the burden.
    You can not carry it alone.
    It is too late.
    You are alone.

    At the end of the silence, there are the tears that silence brings.
    DanesDarkLand, Sep 23, 2012
  4. DanesDarkLand
    Revised, but may not be as expected. Some of this is my life. Other pieces are from friends.

    The tears that silence brings.

    They say they love you,
    but throw their words like a spear, driven deep.
    Try to deflect the anger, but their aim is true.
    Speak to console and diffuse the anger,
    but not your heart or your hurt.
    When there are no tides to turn aside,
    only your thoughts keep you company.

    Keep the family together
    for the sake of the children.
    Don't make them suffer.
    The noise in your mind is deafening.
    Why do they get to live free and unburdened?
    Peacemaker. You want to scream,
    but don't dare. Say nothing.
    What else can you do?

    They stand tall and proud, shoulders straight.
    You struggle under the burden heaped on,
    the weight of worry slowing your steps.
    No easy smile finds your lips,
    no memory of the happiness can be found.
    You pull the weight. Say nothing.
    They need you.

    Long years spent paying a debt never owed,
    speak reassuring words that are never enough.
    The reason to remain silent is forgotten,
    the words still won't come.
    Your not the person they married.
    They loved who you were,
    not who they made you.

    Death has visited your family,
    taking the reason to keep going with them.
    You did not share the burden.
    You can not carry it alone.
    It is too late.
    You are alone.

    At the end of the silence, there are the tears that silence brings.
    DanesDarkLand, Sep 23, 2012
  5. DanesDarkLand
    I have been particularly unsatisfied with this draft of the poem. I will revise again as I feel it still does not say what I need it to. Look for it in the future.
    DanesDarkLand, Sep 24, 2012
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