The Top Ten Things and the Bottom Ten Things
I've invented a computing machine which measures the qualities of all the things and ranks them in a list, from best to worst. Here are the top ten, concluding with the best:
10. Pop Tarts
9. That guy who was all, "Don't tase me, bro! Don't tase me, bro!"
8. Old people
7. Talk shows where people sit around agreeing with one another about things
6. The word "y'all"
5. That part in Pulp Fiction where those badass mofos fought those crazy mofos
2. Quaint and curious volumes of Forgotten Lore
Since I know people will be curious, I've decided to also share the bottom ten, concluding with the worst:
8. The Disney Channel
6. Your vampire novel
5. Whitney Skruggs of Plainsfield, Mississippi, U.S.A.
4. Having to eat and drink to stay alive
3. Not being allowed to be naked all the time
You are welcome.
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