The writing on the wall

By tarnished · Oct 5, 2008 · ·

  1. One of my many poems, I felt like posting a rather odd one...



    Scribbled, and dragging;
    black sharpie.
    Spitting rumors with ease,
    hearts are broken
    with a sarcastic kiss.

    Eyes filled with laughter,
    point and shout.
    When the eyes bulge,
    the laughing stops
    and your name is dropped.

    White-out and smudging
    can only disguise.
    Nervous sweats,
    midnight worries
    will the writing remain?

Comments

  1. wildhoney608
    what is this about?
    Someone loved, lost?
  2. Samswriting
    Heh,
    Your poems without exception make me re-read them. I really like that.

    I get a wonderful image of Graphitti in this one. The battle to keep your words alive, keep your name alive. I see eyes bulging in the witching hours as bullets spray across the night, I see people erased by death for eternity and the streets forgetting them, a new name scrawled on the wall...

    a pattern repeating.

    thats what sticks out....

    now there is the side of me remembering writing my lovers names on the walls hidden little places here and there... but it doesn't scream out like the battle of graphitti does to me.
  3. Robert Lipscombe
    i's good, and you seem to be asking one of the very deep questions: do words endure once spoken by someone, some place, some time?
    I don't know, but I think they probably do in some way endure for much longer than we'd expect..
    ..if you want to beef up your poem you might think about its metaphorical core, by which I mean: there are two worlds in your poem - the wall with its words on it..and you with your feelings..so the question is, can you maybe sharpen the reader's sense of how you are feeling what's written as though someone is scrawling graffiti on your mind, on your soft tissue..and can you tell us more about how that feels?
  4. Only Sissies Write
    I love it. This is definitely a lot like the way I write, and I love the way you don't really reveal what it is you're writing about. You just make us feel something about it and then decide: what do we really feel that way about? And that's what this poem becomes "about" to us.

    I see a teenage couple. One of them (probably the guy because of the way it works) breaks up with the other in mockery and makes things up to hurt him/her, and everyone goes along with it. And the question is: can those taunting words ever be erased?

    Or maybe I'm looking too deeply into it, and it's about walruses on New Year's Eve. But, see, that would also be great.
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