Thinking Out-loud #3: #YesAllWomen... Be a part of the Change

By Andrae Smith · Jun 10, 2014 · 840 · 9
  1. Hi guys! Welcome back to my thinking chair. This entry is a shorter one, and more of a major PSA, but it's one I felt was worthy of expressing:

    With so much going on in our lives, it's easy to push some things out of our mind, particularly the struggles of others. Many of us are privileged to a degree, and do not have to think about, let alone experience things like poverty, hunger, homelessness, domestic violence, racism, rape, etc. I recently saw a post on Facebook about the #YesAllWomen movement to speak out against rape, sexual assault and the like, and it reminded me that there are things that we can easily, if not inadvertently, turn a blind eye to if we don't have to go through it.

    I'm late to hear about this #YesAllWomen movement, but I support the right of all women to feel safe at any time, at any place, in any attire. Sexual assault and rape and other forms of gender-biased violence are not okay. It's not okay that our society has made it for people to be more comfortable making jokes about this stuff than admitting to being victims of it.

    I'll take it a step further to say bias based on gender, "race," ethnicity, sexuality, religion, or whatever is not okay. Everyone deserves to feel comfortable in their own bodies and safe to live their lives as they choose. No one deserves to live in fear, looking over their shoulders for some idiot who finds their lives less valuable and their feelings inconsequential.

    The fact that we don't see it doesn't mean it's not happening. The fact that it happens more often than some might think doesn't make it right. More people should be more willing to stand up to bullies, rapists, racist, and the like. More people should be willing to add their voice to movements that will counteract these issues. Most importantly, more people should be proactive in raising a wiser, kinder, more aware and loving generation in the years to come.

    Let's wake up a bit and start helping each other. It's the only way we can advance as a species. That's all I have to say this time. I think it's pretty clear. As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts on this. It isn't about me, but the discussion. If you'd like to way in, comment below and let me know! Hopefully we can get more chatter about this topic. (I know there's already a thread on Male Rape Victims). :p

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  1. jazzabel
    I agree 100%. I think the most important thing still left to be done is for men everywhere to start supporting the fight against rape culture. And to keep at it until the rape is as illegal and uncommon as slavery is in the developed world today.
    jazzabel, Jun 10, 2014
  2. Andrae Smith
    Absolutely. We have to break away from this mentality of dominance, selfishness and oppression. We can't just take whatever we want whenever we want. We can't subjugate people in the name of some religious, political, social (or other) hierarchy. More men need to become sensitive to the damage that's done not just to the individual victims, but to our society and culture simply by allowing things like this to happen.

    Whether is male on female, female on male, male on male, female on female or what have you, it is past time the violence stopped and the support for love and caring society started. I can't say I know what the right solution is to bring an end to all of this, but I know more people need to be willing to acknowledge that there is a problem, and what's more, stand up to change their own and their children's mindsets.
    Andrae Smith, Jun 10, 2014
  3. KaTrian
    I echo Jazz. I've noticed that men who support the cause (or causes) can often have even a bigger impact on the attitudes of other men than women can, as women are often labeled as raving feminazis, or the focus is more easily diverted on men's issues (not saying they weren't important and couldn't be covered in the same discussion, a lot just depends on how it's done).
    KaTrian, Jun 10, 2014
  4. Andrae Smith
    Absolutely! I actually missed that point (a little bit) when I made my last response. With that in mind, I totally see why it's important to get more men on board to stand up and speak out.
    Andrae Smith, Jun 10, 2014
  5. thirdwind
    Great post. I think a lot of people are especially ignorant about sexual assault on college campuses. I certainly used to be. I never imagined such a thing could happen back when I was in college because 1) I never saw it firsthand and 2) the people I hung out with never did stuff like that (as far as I know). In fact, it's only recently that we as a society have begun to talk about sexual assault on campuses. That's a positive sign. Unfortunately, there's still a lot of work to be done. Some colleges don't take the necessary steps to help the victim because they're worried sexual violence might ruin their reputation. Let's hope this problem gets fixed soon.
    thirdwind, Jun 10, 2014
  6. Andrae Smith
    Good point about college campuses! I'm actually very proud of the students at ASU because they started an organization/movement called "Man Up," specifically for counteracting sexual assault and gender-based aggression. They held rallies and events and really created something positive on our campus. I was surprised to find out how frequent sexual assault is on college campuses because, like you, neither I nor my friends do that type of thing. I too hope we can get more people determined to fix these social issues.
    Andrae Smith, Jun 10, 2014
  7. thirdwind
    I've also noticed that a lot of campuses have groups like "Athletes Against Sexual Violence" or something similar. That's a good sign.
    thirdwind, Jun 10, 2014
  8. KaTrian
    Afaik, there hasn't been a single campaign like that over here. I don't think it's because there're no assaults, I've heard enough stories of intoxicated girls getting assaulted by intoxicated guys, I just think there's still this atmosphere of that being normal, like stuff that just happens when you're drunk. So then you just go and take the morning-after pill and STD test. Many people can shrug it off, I guess, but some can't, but if the atmosphere is such that you should just accept it as part of the drinking culture, even those who are traumatized by it keep quiet.

    This actually happened to a guy at the end of our senior year in high school: he was super drunk, so other people at the party, boys and girls, encouraged him to strip. He probably would've been fine the next morning despite people having groped him and him having acted pretty obnoxiously and lewdly, spending a considerable time without his pants on, but the act was also filmed and shown to the entire senior class in a get-together at our school. Most people thought it was hilarious, and even I felt like maybe I overreacted since, frankly, I felt disturbed. However, this effed him up big time, understandably. Maybe nobody really realized that guys can't shrug off that kind of stuff just like that either. Sure, it wasn't rape, but if I had been that guy, I don't think I could've come to school anymore...
    KaTrian, Jun 12, 2014
      Andrae Smith likes this.
  9. Andrae Smith
    I hadn't even thought about drinking culture. How do you go about changing how people behave when they're drunk? Drunkenness is no excuse for assault or rape or anything like that, but how do you change peoples inebriated mindsets? If two people are drunk it's hard to prosecute someone because neither party is in their right mind. If the aggressor is drunk and the victim isn't, that's different and easy to pin, but otherwise, "it's easy to say, we were drunk and didn't care what we were doing. it doesn't matter." You'd be hard pressed to find a solution to a culture that says you have to get over things when you're drunk. I feel very bad for the boy from your class... It's one reason I don't drink. I don't want my judgement impaired because people do stuff like that. They had no reason playing the video like that...
    Andrae Smith, Jun 12, 2014
      KaTrian likes this.
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