Transformation just sounds good. Lofty, important, knowledgeable. I mean, who could transform without knowing what the word means? You may have to look up something for a change. And actually think about it, dwell on it, meditate. Chew the cud.
Change is hard. The down and dirty gritty stuff. You actually DO something different. One day you're a selfish bitch. The next day you don't react when folks piss you off. I think I'd rather go off in a corner by myself than stay pissed off all the time.
It's hard to make real changes at my age. But it's time and I'm ready for it. I can't smoke anymore every time I get anxious. Can't drink every time I want to celebrate. Too much caffeine will give me high blood pressure and screw my kidneys up.
I'm looking for a more exciting job with better pay. I don't have time for wasted energy. I know it's a strange thing to still be on the road searching at my age, but it's the way my life is and this will just have to do until something better comes along.
I want to be a different person today. Not the same person I was yesterday, over and over again.
Malisky likes this.
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