Underage drinking...no..marriage

By Charisma · Mar 20, 2008 · ·
Categories:
  1. To start off, I'm not against early marriage. It's a convenient way to keep oneself fulfilled and continue their life too. But here, in the modern world; early marriages can be tricky.

    I would first clarify that early marriages aren't necessarily torture or barbaric, they're better than date rapes and having 8 sexual partners before marriage, IMO. Also, by early marriages I mean not forcible marriages. I'm a girl, and have deeply looked into feminism (I warn you, I am not the modern day feminist. I am a neutral person; both men and women have rights, not just women or men.) I mean marriages with the full consent of the girl, given freedom to study and do a modest job if she likes. I'm not sure about everyone, but I read that women marry on average at the age of 25-26 in USA. And in Sweden, the age is around 30 for females. In Pakistan, the marriage is 17 (surprised much?), which is alright since girls round here are pretty useless anyway. However, the marriage age is rising with the trend of feminism sprawling over the nation, which is alright as long as a girl marrying young isn't harassed and teased. Who could be, quite possibly, me.

    Yeah me. Nothing to laugh about. I mean, this is freaky. I am too immature. And marriage? For a yet-to-be-16 girl? Heh. Heh. Heh. I'm flattered.

    Like I said, I have nothing against marrying young or old; it's a matter of finding Mr. Right. However, I have many things against the social norms and values which have nothing to do with religion, yet they are imposed on the women by women. (That's the wackiest thing yet. Women eat women. Wack. Wack.) And one of them is the brainwashing they do. Apparently, a girl's reason to live is to get married. Which is so totally absurd. And after marriage, to have kids. No, not kids, have 'sons'. And after that, to do a repeat telecast of these commands on the generations to come.

    Religiously, it is not true. It is proved through two very eminent women in the history of Islam. Hazrat Khadija (R.A.), the Prophet's (P.B.U.H.) first wife, was widowed twice, and she lived a rather unmarried life for most of her life. At the age of forty, she finally met her ultimate marriage. If marriage was everything, she should've committed suicide. Even so, the Prophet's (P.B.U.H.) wife Hazrat Ayesha (R.A.) [because of whom, people have this concept that the Apostle, God Forbid, was paedophilic. I'll clarify this stupid accusation some other time] was widowed at the age of 25 (not sure, but something like that). She lived for another 48 years, unmarried. If marriage were the purpose of her life, she should've committed suicide. In fact, the other wives of the Prophet (P.B.U.H.) remained unmarried for the rest of their life. [I'll explain why he married so many times some other time too] Point to be noted, she was a scholar just like other wives of the Prophet (P.B.U.H.), not only in Islam but also other subjects like medicine, Arab history, etc. About her knowledge, it is said that it outnumbered the knowledge of all the wives of the Prophet (P.B.U.H) and all of his companions, except few. About Hazrat Khadija (R.A.), the prophet said:
    "The best women in this world are Hazrat Mary (Yes, Mary, mother of Jesus) and Hazrat Khadija."
    Also, the women used to work. Hazrat Khadija (R.A.) was a merchant, Hazrat Zainab (R.A.) (another wife) used to work with leather while other women used to make cosmetics and sell them. Islam doesn't forbid anything like that. But, the Pakistani society does. How stupid.

    And now, my dearest mother is dying to get me married after my GCSE examinations. Though I'm not really planning a very intensive career which would be blocked, I know that if something like that happens I would become like everyone other Pakistani women: useless. You see, once women marry and have sons, we are wastage. Which is so totally not what I want! I want to marry when my education is complete, my brain is ready for a practical life and my childishness, if not gone, is suppressible. Because if I marry now, I will not be able to do either of these, thanks to the society. The most my mother can do is search and look for a guy, but I am not marrying him.

    Despite my arrogant self, there is every chance that my mom would force me. Eek! I better immigrate to some other country, quick. Before they ban Muslims officially. That way, I can live in peace and work for my country's wellbeing in a safer environment, instead in a bombing playground. Till then, take care!

    LEGEND
    (P.B.U.H) = peace be upon him
    (R.A.) = Razit'Allah A'nhu, Arabic for 'May Allah be pleased with them'
    Hazrat = like saying 'sir' or 'madam'; a title which offers respect.
    Categories:

Comments

  1. AngryGirl6
    All through highschool, I dated a guy who was born here in America but whose father was from Pakistan and his mother was from Bolivia. They both had very thick accents and the only language they had in common was English, but Ajaz (my ex boyfriend) was born here in Houston and was as Americanized as he could be.
    I will say that at 17, his mom was dropping hints about giving me her engagement ring and joking about when he and I have babies and it ended up ultimately, (I feel) ending our relationship (besides him being a cheater) there was pressure from his family for him to marry me since I was his first... well, everything. Girlfriend, partner, super close friend. Which was a little weird considering that I'm as white and American as can be.
    But my point is this... from what little bit I know about the culture based on what I've seen from his family (which they're all great people, save his stepmom) I kind of agree with you. They seem to be very concerned about bearing sons and early marriage, and me personally speaking, as a little American girl (you don't have to listen to me or anything, cuz I definately not trying to be rude or racist, so please don't think I am) a woman's worth should not be based on her man, nor how many kids she has, and of what gender they are.
    I'm the same way... I don't have a particular career lined up (I'm a supervisor at a pharmacy) but I want to be a psycholigist one day, which requires about 2 years of school. I can't (well, I can, but it would be a lot more difficult) do that with kids on my hip.
    I think if you really feel leaving the country would be a good idea, do it. Women are entitled to every right as a man, a black man, an Asian man... it doesn't matter. We're all people, and that's all that should matter.
    I say follow your heart girl. You'll have support, even if you have to look for it.
  2. Charisma
    Fair enough...it's pretty much your opinion. My only argument with my mother is that I want to be more than just a useless reproductive machine when I marry. And if that is not possibly, I want to marry once I'm mentally settled.
    I hope I just make the right choice.
  3. Torana
    anthraxx I can definately understand that you do not desire to be simply a vessel to reproduce. We all have desires in life to get somewhere, to make something of our lives. Some people simply feel that a womans job is in fact to produce offspring, others feel it is far more than that. My only advice to you is to follow your heart, at the end of the day it is YOU that has to make the decision as to what you wish to do with your life and the decision should be yours and yours alone, with guidance from others of course.
    While your decisions in life may affect others in the process, they should be proud that you have made a decision as to where you wish your life to take you and be there to support you in any direction you go in.
    You are an extremely bright and intelligent yound lady and I pray that your path is found and that it leads you to happiness and greatness.
    Men and women should be seen as equals, for that is what we are. We have our differences, but we are ultimately the same. We all breathe, we feel, we eat, live and die. Just because we have different body parts, shouldn't be any reason why we should be seen as a lesser being.
    Support and understanding comes from a wide variety of places and you will find it. You certainly have my support. :)

    big hugs
    Torana
  4. Charisma
    Thanks for the concern and support, Torana. I know what I want to do for now; immigrate to another country so I could stay safe from improper social norms and values, study, become mature and finally marry someday. And so, I'll make sure the man I marry is moral and intelligent at the same time, not lacking these two important qualities. Till then, one should study for exams *buries her head in Chemistry book*
To make a comment simply sign up and become a member!
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice