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I feel sometimes like im drowning, not from depression but just by life itself, i feel as if, we are put here to do one thing and one thing only, but i will not do that, i will be who i want to be and live how i want to live, my father always wanted me to go into the military, i only wanted to go to make him proud, I really did not feel like risking my life, selfish I know, what our troops are doing over there is a very honorable thing, but its not the life for me. I want to be around for my childern when I finally start a family, I want to wake up next to my wife every morning, I want to most of all, be close to home when the shit hits the fan.