What If, What would

As I mentioned in the "That Moment" thread, I've reached a point of existential crisis or perhaps opportunity, the realization that we not only have a lot of choices to make, we in fact are condemned to make choices, because we have no other options. In my life, to this point, I have made choices, right or wrong, good or bad, effective or wasteful, always in the shadow of the idea there is a "right" way to act.

But I no longer think that's the case. One can live according to religious tenets, but that means one makes the choice to follow that religion, on the unverifiable assumption that there is some truth to that religion.

I spent a bit of time two years back in Vienna Austria and saw a monument to Jewish survivors of the Holocaust -- it is a statute of a bearded old man down on his hands and knees with a scrub brush in his hand. Old Jewish men were condemned to spend days outside scrubbing the tiles of the town square, being harrassed and heckled by the passing crowd. The tour guide said it had taken years to get the city to acknowledge what had happened during those times, noting that the prevailing sentiment was, "What else could we have done but cooperate with the Nazis? We were powerless to resist them."

No doubt whatsoever that the choice to refuse to cooperate with the Nazis would have been a perilous choice, albeit one that a few people did make. The others, by not acting, chose to not act or even chose to cooperate. Everyone chose, and I, not a Jew, have serious qualms about what I would have done. There may be, there are, general and theoretical guidelines that make the choice "obvious" in theory -- but when it came down to the nitty-gritty consequences of incurring State wrath and punishments, and consequences to one's family, the choice became far harder. I condemn no one.

That's the most drastic situation, obviously. What about simpler things, like finding bundle of cash on the street -- turn it in or pocket it? Working for a company that dumps dirty water into the nearby stream. Filing income taxes with an opportunity to claim a shady deduction -- or refusing even to look at shady deductions, Taking the time to listen to your lonely elderly neighbor tell you the same story over and over. Driving around a crowded parking lot late to a court appearance, and seeing an unoccupied disabled parking spot when you are not disabled.

Again and ultimately, it seems we are back to the choice of choosing. Endorse something unverifiable and try to absolve oneself of options, sorry still a choice. Settle a divorce by agreeing to terms provided under state law, but obviously unfair to the spouse -- still choosing to make the better choice for yourself under the aegis of man's law; or give up terms so that your spouse is treated morally better, still a choice, that may make you feel better, but has no ultimate reward, unless you follow some aforementioned religion or pattern of thought.

And it's not really a "what if" question, because it's more of a "when" question, as long as we are alive we choose.