What the crap, American Media?!

By Link the Writer · Apr 19, 2010 · 686 · 19
  1. This is just my rant to the American media as a whole. :) Please note that it's just a hilarious rant not meant to be taken seriously. :3
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Dear American Media,

    WHAT THE CRAP!!

    I just got done watching "The Eleventh Doctor", the first episode of the fifth seasons in the smash hit UK show Doctor Who. I'm instantly in love with this show now and I'm already used to the new Doctor.

    The biggest thing we have here in this great nation of ours? The land of the Bald Eagle and the Star-Spangled Banner? Sparkly vampires. Go back a few years earlier and it was a boy named Eragon on a dragon in a kinda-sorta ripoff of Lord of the Rings and Star Wars.

    Read it again, American Media. The BIGGEST thing out there now in the United States is SPARKLY VAMPIRES!!

    While the UK has Doctor Who. A friggin Timelord that can go through time and space itself. What does Edward Cullen stand against The Doctor? Hell, you can blindfold the doctor and force him to fight Edward Cullen with his bare hands and he'd STILL find a way to kill Cullen in so many ways. (If you wanna get technical about it, the blindfold cannot come off unless someone wins, so there!)

    Edward Cullen's powers are being a stalker and glowing with light when the sun hits him.

    "But Link!" you may say, American Media, "We had Harry Potter!"

    Right, 'cept that was the UK kindly transporting that series across the pond. They didn't have to do that, y'know. >___> I wonder if that's just an act of pity. :D;)

    Their movies are good, their televison shows are good. It's a sign of times if I, an American, have demoted my television to just "BBC America" and "National Geography Wild" where I either watch British folks or animals. Why? Because all the other shows you put out SUCK!! They just...SUCK! Do not get me started on the History Channel or any other channel out there. Oh sure, there are a few gems out there like Food Network, but the rest just suck.

    Y'know something, American Media? I believe the British have won. After 234 years, they have beaten us. They couldn't take over our country, they couldn't crush our independence even though the second time we kinda brought it on ourselves, but they could hand our arse to us in the media.

    Well done, UK. Well done. I salute you. :)

    ~ Link the Writer

Comments

Sort Comments:

Sort Comments By

Page 1 of 2
  1. Evil Flamingo
    Ah food network, you make my days go by so much better...=]
    Evil Flamingo, Apr 19, 2010
  2. Banzai
    If you like British TV, then I'd recommend you take a look at Life on Mars (the original British version). One of the best TV series in recent years.
    Banzai, Apr 19, 2010
  3. Eunoia
    Haha. I don't like America for reasons I won't go into, but yes, Britain is so much better (not bias at all me coming from England :p). I am quite grateful that we (UK) have decent television programmes. I went to America five(?) years ago to stay with family friends, and there was barely anything on the TV worth watching.
    Eunoia, Apr 20, 2010
  4. Lydia
    There's always Disney Channel. :D
    Lydia, Apr 20, 2010
  5. losthawken
    What about 'The Office'? We may have stolen it from the Brits but our version is the only thing I ever watch on TV!
    losthawken, Apr 20, 2010
  6. Banzai
    And it's just overwhelmingly not funny...

    I'm not meaning to be offensive, but the British version was hillarious (and I can't stand Gervais). What I've seen of the US version has just had all the humour sucked out of it.
    Banzai, Apr 20, 2010
  7. Speedy
    Have to agree with the above.

    Anyway, best show on TV now, for me is Top Gear UK and i don't even love cars that much. Just great personalities.

    Oh, and i can't stop watching QI with Steven Fry for some reason.

    It appears most uk shows age gracefully (Oldschool doctor who, Red Dwarf, Black Books etc)
    Speedy, Apr 21, 2010
  8. Banzai
    Black Books is bloody genius! :D
    Banzai, Apr 21, 2010
  9. marina
    But Americans have PBS with all of its great TV programming. Let's see, there's Masterpiece Theatre...oh, crap, scrap that. Um, they recently had a new Jane Austen movie, Emma, which was produced by BBC...damn. Um, yeah, bloody Brits have all the good stuff.
    marina, Apr 21, 2010
  10. Lydia
    And Masterchef is British too. :D (the american version of that is just pitiful and not worth it to even be mentioned)

    But, let's see... Um... Mythbusters? Not that great...

    Sorry. I think I've decided that Brits are better. :D
    Lydia, Apr 21, 2010
  11. Speedy
    I have a guilty pleasure. I like British detective shows.

    Unlike CSI, NCSI etc (law and Order is ok)
    Speedy, Apr 21, 2010
  12. Lydia
    I forgot to mention House! :eek: It's American and I like it. So there.
    Lydia, Apr 21, 2010
  13. Forkfoot
    Family Guy is still sometimes the funniest thing in the universe. There was a time where any given show was minute-for-minute much funnier than anything human beings have ever made, IMO. And that includes Python.
    Forkfoot, Apr 21, 2010
  14. Evil Flamingo
    House M. D. has been one of my favorite shows, since probably when it first launched. I also adore Law and Order: SVU. But I really don't watch much TV anyways.
    Evil Flamingo, Apr 21, 2010
  15. Speedy
    Usually if it has HBO on it, it's pretty good.
    Speedy, Apr 21, 2010
Page 1 of 2
To make a comment simply sign up and become a member!
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Accept Learn More...
    Dismiss Notice