...The Tough Get Going
It’s been four gruelling weeks at the office; my brand new job. Everything there feels fast paced, chaotic – akin to being inside a pressure cooker; calls from the left, right and centre. On a positive note, being bombarded with calls actually breaks the monotony down, that boredom of stillness, which was somewhat the case in the past. It equally feels like eternity however, getting to the end of a day is tough work. I suppose you can only succumb and appreciate the old saying that no one is ever too happy with their life.
Ultimately, this all translates into me whining about finishing work late on weekdays and having very little time to write. Alas, there hasn’t been much time for reading either. And believe you me, I do amazingly well at making vows to myself early in the morning, just before departing to work, that I’ll either do some reading or writing later in the evening. But seldom does that actually happen, not to my astonishing surprise.
Weekends come to a degree of rescue in the subconscious level that there’s ample time to write and read. But for anyone who works in an office, they too know that what one really feels like doing is resting, both mentally and physically. Needless to say, writing and reading is something that takes up a lot of energy and putting it into practise will probably do more harm than good. Harm because it will wear me down, exacerbating the lethargy for the week.
So what am I bemoaning about? Am I quitting? Is that it? I’ve done some writing and reading this weekend and it felt pretty good. This is perhaps a way of expressing my breakthrough in the writing arena, a way of marking the point of no return. A way of saying that struggling and feeling dog tired is part of it. The authenticity of feeling like a struggling writer, like umpteen writers out there, is stronger than ever.
Fame is certainly the impetuous for anyone to write, and so is the money, but nothing beats the pleasure, the joy, the kick, the feel-good sensation running down your veins. To infinity and beyond, baby!
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