xXx: Return of Xander Cage Reviewed (no spoilers)

By Iain Aschendale · Mar 1, 2017 · ·
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  1. Just got back from xXx: Return of Xander Cage. No spoilers, but it was a lot of fun.

    If
    you see it on the big screen. Like most action flicks, I don't think it would translate well to my living room.

    Oh, also, I saw it in MX4D, which is the Japanese variant of the 3d theater with seats that tilt, bump, poke you in the kidneys and buttocks, spray blasts of air, water, and scents at your face, and tickle your ankles.

    So, kind of like that uncle that doesn't get invited by for Thanksgiving anymore because it violates the terms of his registry.

    But anyway, this is definitely the right kind of movie for that. Not a spoiler, but there are a number of fight scenes that are made even more interesting by getting harmlessly smacked around by your seat. On the negative side, there are also a number of scenes where cars smoke their tires, and, well, I couldn't identify the scent, but it was nowhere near burning rubber. Computer packaging, maybe.

    Odd point. I don't think of myself as a Social Justice Warrior, more of a Social Justice Weekend Reservist maybe, so I don't base my viewing choices solely on whether I expect everyone to be well-represented. Sometimes fun is just fun, but I was kinda surprised when I realized that, while the movie has roughly zero well-fleshed out characters, there are three Tuff Grrlz, two Smart Girls, and it passes the damned Bechdel Test.

    I mean, of course there are approximately 49 sets of self-propelled breasts and seven bikini-clad fuck-muppets, but it seems that as soon as they got their tops off, Xander bored them all to sleep...

    Anyway, it lags in the middle a bit, but, and this may be the 4d talking, I was quite entertained by the end of the film. As good as the original? Not sure, but it beat the hell out of Suicide Squad, so worth the ticket if that's your sort of movie.
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Comments

  1. Lifeline
    hm.. I understand the appeal of a viewing in such a setting (I am a fan of the original xxx myself), but I can't get along with the humans beside me in a movie theatre. Some of the girls lay on heavy perfume (I presume because they think that without them they wouldn't be desirable) but it has the negative side effect of ruining my own viewing experience. My nose is too sensitive :(

    Last time that happened I left the setting and I haven't been to a viewing since.
      Iain Aschendale likes this.
  2. Wreybies
    Ha! :) "49 sets of self-propelled breasts" has a wonderful flow to it. ;)
      Iain Aschendale likes this.
  3. Iain Aschendale
    @Lifeline, one of the liberties my job affords me is weekday matinees. Not that they're cheaper; it's the last shows here that get a bit of a discount, but I can enjoy movies in the company of a few sets of retired folks and the odd housewife or two. Quite nice.
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