Popsicle, I took your advice and retold it from the perspective of the MC. Thank you. I feel it works much better now. I don't have the time to...
Can you give an example of where you think you are sounding preachy? Or at least what idea you want to convey? Otherwise, this question is rather...
Here is my solution to the problem thus far. Let me know if you guys think it makes him easier to relate to. Chickenfreak, I used a bit of the...
I think that internal dialogue-esque thoughts are appropriate in some circumstances though. For example: Raiders? What could raiders want with...
I'm comfortable with the way my story flows, with one exception. Any time I have my character thinking, and try to merge that with a paragraph of...
Chickenfreak, I agree with you. Your dialogue certainly has a different impact. The only problem is, my character wouldn't be nearly so gruff....
That WOULD work, if his entire village wasn't destroyed while he was out. Also, his disgust at his "murder" of other living things plagues him...
I am working on characterizing the main character of my fantasy novel, and I have two questions. He is first introduced when he kills a deer and...
I am writing a paragraph describing two deer that are grazing in a clearing, and it led to this horrible train-wreck of a sentence: "They...
Based on what I was told earlier in this thread, I don't think that's passive. "the light was run by it," would be passive... I think.
I've seen it done both ways, but usually the first.
We had to do things like this: Instead of "it was sunny outside" something like, "the sun's rays enveloped the countryside in it's warm glow."...
Separate names with a comma.