Done! However the cure turns out to be make them into a Hive Mind, and they conquer the world, wiping out human individuality in the process. I wish there was no homophobia, racism, sexism, classism, or ageism.
Though your request is a noble one, I am bound by the rules of the games, so.... Rainbow-flavored-fruity-puff-caplowie! Granted. Every human on the planet is a carbon copy of every other human. We do not age, but we do croak after a certain amount of time. We reproduce via asexual parthenogenesis. Life is super chilly. Also, super boring. I wish I could have six-pack abs without having to do a thing or watch my diet!
Granted. You requested six-pack abs, but will get fat and lose muscle tone nonetheless. Double chin, flabby arms and sagging butt, but with a hot six-pack. I wish I could choose any career I like.
Granted! Vegas show-girl? Really? Whoda'thunkit? I wish people would always understand my comments without me having to give tedious caveats to everything.
Granted! However, this understanding comes from that everyone can read your mind, and even knows your social security number. Your finances don't last long. I wish I had the power to make anything boring for every human being on Earth by pointing at it and saying, "you shall be boring!" This applies to even things viewed through a TV screen and such.
Granted, but given how everything must have an opposite, there is someone very close to you who can make everything fun around him. Included in the package is a fun-loving, optimistic personality. I wish for a great city to be built high in the sky, and the humans that inhabit evolve to sprout wings, and I am the city's ruler.
Granted! The city is named Icarus City, but after everybody learnS what happened to Icarus, they move away with their wings. Icarus City falls into chaos and disrepair, and you will be the first and final mayor of a ghost town. I hope I had an epic movie trailer voice (if you know John Bailey / Honest Trailers then that's the voice I'm looking for!)
You have an epic movie trailer voice, but then someone goes and hits a semi with their sports car because you made it sound cool, and the semi driver takes revenge on you by whacking your car twenty times with a 15 lb sledgehammer. I wish I had a modified version of caffeine that completely lost its effects after four hours, making insomnia easily avoidable. And make it a little more potent during the four hours it does do something.
Granted! Only now, it's called crack-caffeine and is not only the most addictive drug known to man, but it makes your gum flesh grow and your teeth fall out of their sockets. I wish it was spring again.
Granted! Unfortunately, this Spring has mutant plant growing all over the place and eating people, including you! I wish that Superman really existed, and was really as moral as the best comics make him out to be!
Granted! But his powers are too powerful to let slip into the hands of the enemy. Superman is therefore abducted through a very cunning CIA plot and is put inside a graphene, led, and kryptonite reinforced bunker. He is experimented on until he expires. They then dissect his body and through research, they develop a new breed of super-soldiers that turn bad and wreak havoc in the world. I wish politicians couldn't lie.
Granted! One of them stands up and says, “The truth of the matter is: we are really slaves to our Martian overlords.” I wish Fallout 4 would get here.
It did; Fallout 4 is literally here. Almost all of the population is dead, including you because you weren't in a vault. Want to know the worst part? This fallout doesn't have pipboys, only apple watches. I wish upon a star, that I could golf well under par.
Shazamobubble! You are now a golf ball being hit around by Tiger Woods. It hurts. I wish I could understand the lyrics of insanely catchy Korean pop songs.
And so it is done. Your ears only exist to hear their satanic hymns. There is no resisting the urges now; to rend flesh, crush bone, devour souls. You are a beast consumed by hunger and even though you will try, no amount of human flesh could possibly sate it. I wish i was a little bit taller...
Granted! But because a bit isn't a specified unit of measuring height, the wish granter had to eye-ball it. You are now one nano meter taller than you were before. I wish I could find motivation and ideas to finish my fantasy map for a book I am writing.
Today while walking across the street motivation, creativity, inspiration, and a car all hit you at the same time, turning your mind into a nexus of ideas and your body into a unresponsive husk. In your coma your enhanced mind creates the perfect map your fantasy world, a map that will never see paper. I wish i stopped accidentally biting my tongue every once in a while.
<serious> I didn't know that other people had this problem as well</serious> Higgledopody! Your teeth are now made out of a substance softer than your tongue. Hilarious consequences eating most known solid food ensues. I wish bass guitarists were acknowledged as the cornerstones of rock bands that they are.
Your wish is granted... Now all the bass guitarists are known for the talent they posses but they all become ego-maniacs and kill one another until the art form of playing bass guitar is lost.... I wish that I could understand what infinity actually meant...
Kintrablousity! You are now Zero, and you spend the rest of your life having people dividing by you. I wish that my favourite jumper hadn't worn out so that there is now a hole in the elbow.
Your jumper is now an immoveable suit of armour, rigidly fixed upon your person. It's indestructibility is learnt by the local press and a story runs on the front page. The national press picks up on this magnificent technicolour dream-jumper and start camping outside your door. Then the scientists arrive. You spend weeks being scanned, poked and prodded as they attempt to discern what on earth this immutable jumper is made of. Finally they tire of you and their fruitless endeavours. There is nothing left for it but to join a travelling freak show. You stand each day in your majestic jumper in front of a target, while punters strike you with a baseball bat, seeing if they can make a dent for the prize of a cuddly toy. Your final days are spent withering within your splendid jumper; it mocks your failing body with its perfection. And 10,000 years from now when archaeologists excavate your burial ground, they find only fragments of bone and that bastard jumper. I wish I was omniscient.
You are now cosmically aware of everything that happens in the universe. Including really gross people's sex lives. You cannot tune out, sorry. I wish my cat had a companion so that I didn't have to feel so guilty about leaving my apartment for long periods of time.
Zitsublimblam! Your cat now has a nice furry companion. Problem is, they decide they are much happier by themselves and you come home to find that the locks have been changed. I wish I could stop procrastinating.
"Get moving" He is wearing a leather belt, a gimp mask and little else. He twirls a whip in one hand. "No rest for the wicked!" I wish I could write a complete plot I like.
