I thought women wrote long sentences. I always envy those long Victorian observations of self-motive in situation, the way the scenario might unfold in one of many various permutations, a ring of fire or a long line of lambs waiting to hop the stile, soothe me to some conclusion that I may or not be unable to unravel by the end of the sentence.
I'd like to see an example of your text. I think correlation and causation are potentially getting mixed here. It seems more likely to me that the sentence structure would resonate within a passage, leading to staccato repetitiveness. By modifying sentence length you would be breaking the structure pattern.
I'm afraid I get a little lost when people start analysing too much. I find it far easier to explain practically, so here goes. When I say sentences of the same length have a staccato and repetitive rhythm, and that a passage or paragraph is improved with sentences of varying length, I'm referring to the difference I shall now demonstrate. Ex 1: "This is a sentence. This is one of similar length. This is also a sentence. Can you here the rhythm? It's getting repetitive. I sound like a robot. Too many four-words. Do you see it?" Ex 2: "This is also a sentence. But if the next one varies greatly in length, it's not so rhythmic and it sounds more natural in the head. This is what I mean by improving a paragraph with sentences of varying lengths."
It's a good example, but I'd bet good money you don't write like that (4 word sentences) -- I read your workshop piece. Gimme real writing and we'll talk, hombre. Or are you saying it's as simple as 4 word sentences?
Well, I've improved - even I'm happy to admit that - but only because I eventually realised what was making my prose sound so stilted. And, no, my writing never consisted of four-word sentences, but I was going to the extreme to demonstrate a point. I may post something in the workshop again, but not from my novel - which is coming along just swimmingly, by the way. I've managed to write 800 words in about four days. Expect it on the shelves in 2029
I like reading books that have short sentences but when I write my sentences mostly end up long. Mixing it up would be ideal.
For me, it always comes down to how a sentence and/or paragraph reads. And the best way, I find, is to read it aloud. If it flows and sounds good, then you are probably okay. If it makes you twist your face into an epitome of pain, then you might want to re-write it! Regards Mikey
I do pay quite a lot of attention to it because it's something I really notice when I'm reading. If I've written a series of short sentences I'll re-word them to fix it. The only exception is in speech, where I deliberately make one of my main characters speak in shorter sentences and let the other ramble. It helps give them different voices.
Yes, sentence length is very important. The way we construct a sentence, a paragraph, a chapter gives off a resounding rhythm. That rhythm will determine the flow and pique or diminish the interest of the reader. When we write with the same number of words, punctuation marks, we are losing our creativity. At times, when I'm tweaking a paragraph, I'll purposely do something that I'm cautioned about: I'll make a sentence extremely long. That works IF the sentence is clear. Then I'll insert a short sentence that consists of three words. Then another that has seventeen words. Then another with only ONE word. Shucks! Like that. The best way to resolve this is to go to a problematic paragraph and choose a sentence. See if ONE word will do the trick. Then combine two of the sentences you've written, joining them with "and," "but," "however," or something along that line. Take a look at it and see if you've solved the problem. Look at how I constructed this paragraph. The attic, approximately twenty-two feet wide, had a fan hugged tight to a beam stretching from one end of the ceiling to the other. It had one bulb, two blades. Labeled boxes stacked in sets of four stood in perfect alignment along the wall, leaving two naked windows visible. Papers atop one box, rolls of lint dust, cornered cobwebs, and a broken fan blade propped underneath a window were the only things displaced. Ironically, the room represented Melba's life—compartmentalized, neat, and in order. Until today.
I pay attention to it, yes, and curse myself when I find the first draft full of the same old-same old. I've tried to pay more attention to it as of late (my sentences tend to be short-ish) and hopefully am improving. I liked your example (I also think the alliteration works). Wouldn't have thought it repetitive. But like others have said, if the same syntax is repeated page after page, then it'd probably become noticeable.
Like a lot of things, I struggle with it. I like short sentences mixed with longer ones as per the standard advice. But, making the sentence length work for a particular bit of prose is hard. During editing, I'm forever merging sentences and breaking them apart again.
Extremely simple advice ...and it works! Better yet, get somebody else to read it out loud. They won't know what you intended, they'll only know what you've actually written. The jangled bits will leap out, for sure. So will anything that sounds dull or repetitive.
I use the built-in speech synthesiser in my mac to read things out. Here's an example of what it sounds like. https://clyp.it/tfjzuqfl
I do this as well on my Mac. Not always easy to find a live human to read your work to you. It's mildly robotic, but it gets the words out of your head and out of your reading pace.
