This tale of a reviewer and a disgruntled author is making the rounds today: https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/1830010599 To sum up - the author provided a reviewer a free copy in exchange for a review. The reviewer posted an emoji as a placeholder while he wrote a full review. The author took this as mockery and chastised him. The reviewer apologised and posted his real review. The author did not like the real review. A month later, the author informed the reviewer he had contacted "an occultist... well known for his black magic" and a curse would be cast on the reviewer if he didn't remove the review in 10 days. So yeah. This is a thing.
Sorry, mistook this for a new Douglas Adams novel. He must hate it when real-life steals his material.
The reviewer missed an opportunity. He should have just ran with it and replaced his avatar with one of those cursed Ringu photos.
Aaah! I no like it! This happened?! Oh my goodness, this really makes me laugh! (As someone who doesn't believe in black magic.) We should do a series of these!
Now all reviewers shall know the wrath of authors and tremble in the face of their awesome black arts. Mwahahaha! Jeez, someone needs to take a handful of chill pills.
TBH I wouldn't have bothered further after his initial response - you can't have a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent. On the threat thing, last year while moving on a bunch of hippies from camping in one of our car parks during a folk festival, I was told that he was gong to "call down the wrath of Herne the Hunter" as punishment for my intolerance...
I am pretty tough on books that I think are bad, but if someone (if they bothered) reviewed my own, I wouldn't jump their shit over it. It is honest feedback, not an invitation to summon the Dark Lord and condemn them to hell. Though the article reminds me of the Sacaccio guy last year. So who wants to condemn some souls...?
I won't lie; I'm mad jealous. I wish I could write a critique that resulted in me in getting cursed with Black magic. But in all seriousness, this is a great example of how not to react to critique.
Wow, and although it was a negative review, it was professional and respectful. In other words, not like the way I trash books I hate enough to review
Order Tenderiser's Pox Package now and I'll throw in my Caribbean SanterÃa Extender Pack as a free gift to you! You can pick from incipient erectile disfunction, total loss of short term memory, or bladder trouble. (One item per order, zombie option available only through purchase of SanterÃa Extender Pack)
Is it true that dudes who practice Santeria keep their underwater on during coitus? That was in Havana Bay by Martin Cruz Smith, I think.
Honestly, I have no idea. SanterÃa is a thing here that you can defo find in your own neighborhood, tho. There's a santero who lives down the hill from my property. He's viewed with the typical mixed engagement of people here where they scorn him, but also the same people who scorn him go seek out his services when someone else pisses them off or they need to contact a dead relative, etc. I don't engage in the religious epistemology that gives coin to these dynamics, so I'm not the most informed person on the subject, I must admit.
A hefty man goes to a fitness facility, advertising guarantee to lose 10 lbs in a day. So after checking in, the man is led into a room with a set of rules. In the room is a large bed and a beautiful woman. The man reads the rules: There is a beautiful woman in here. If you catch her, you can do whatever you want to her. The chase ensues around the room for quite some time, until the man becomes extremely exhausted to the point of passing out. A pair of the employees remove him from the floor. Placing him on the scale he lost 10lbs. Once he came to. "We have another deal. Guaranteed that you will lose 20 lbs in a day." To which the man thought was quite the bargain, considering he was still quite hefty. So he is led into an enormous room that was turned into an indoor jungle. Again he reads the rules: There is a 400 pound gorilla after your ass. If he catches you, he can do whatever he wants with you.
Has he never heard of counter-spells? Hey. I'm casting one now. "Ah Hoom, Ah Hoom, May the Bird of Paradise fly up your nose. Ah Hoom, Ah Hoom...."