Alec: So some of the authors in one of the other threads thought it would be cool to start a Characters Chatroom, and I got bored waiting for anybody else to start one - Charlie: You know that says more about you than about them, right? Alec: Sorry boss. Where was I? Charlie: Really? Amy: Moving right along, basically anybody from any world who would like to talk to anybody else from any other world is allowed to come here, and feel free to break the fourth wall or not however much you like. Alec: Just try to keep the conversation moving, OK? If someone asks you about something in their world that isn't in yours - and that you've obviously never heard of - talk about how you would feel about the thing if you knew about it. Amy: Unless you don't want to, then you don't have to. Alec: But why wouldn't they want to keep the conversation moving? Amy: I don't know. Maybe we should ask them what they think instead of telling them? Charlie: Deuces, I'm out. Amy: Out as a lesbian, or out as a black chick? Charlie: ... Are you shitting me? Amy: Out as a Ford driver? Alec: So I think we've got the introduction to the Chatroom all set up! Anybody else care to join us before Amy and I drive the boss crazier than the Joker in a vat of glue? Charlie: What.
Nina: Are you sure this is the chatroom that you were talking about? These people look a bit sketchy to me. Vinya: I said they were fun, not sane. Nina: In general, those two things should be synonymous. Vinya: It was my idea - what did you expect? Nina: Good point... Vinya: HAS ANYONE ELSE HERE EVER WOKEN UP COVERED IN GLITTER AND FROOT LOOPS AND CAN'T REMEMBER WHY? Nina: V!!!!!!! Vinya: I was just asking, I figured a fictional character support group would get it. Nina: Vinya: *sigh* Protagonists never understand.
Thomchan: I have woken up covered in snow in a scarp. But never covered in... whatever it is you mentioned. ... Is this the afterlife? Has nobody brought my heart back to be melted? Who are you?
Vanna: Ha! Have fun melting mine. I'm procrastinating doing my French composition using the Internet - just like I used to when I lived in the early 21st century. But the pree in charge is looking at me, so I'll have to be stealthier. Chronic. What are you chaps all doing?
Thomchan: We don't actually melt them anymore. We only burn them. Long ago my people's hearts were made from metal and housed our souls. If they are not melted, we are prisoners in our bodies for a long, long time. I am reading. Old text about the goddess. It is kind of boring. I must have dozed off.
Brenn: I'm trying to decide what things from my soft prior life I really need to bring with me. It's tough when you've been the "little Lord to be" all your life and you decide you're going to chuck it all in because the handsomest devil you every laid eyes on actually saw you across the room. Tevin: He keeps calling me that. I wish he knew how much I love his eyes and everything else about him. I couldn't care less about his money or position. Brenn: Why would you care about anything looking like that? Tevin: Are you calling me vain? Brenn: No, I'm just a realist. Tevin: And what happened last night, that wasn't real? Brenn: Well... yes. Tevin: Okay, then. Stop bragging on me, stop with the self-deprecation, and hurry up and pack. You're going to give Alec and Charlie a bad impression of me. And I can already feel Vanna judging me. Brenn: Don't mind me, Vanna. It's a me thing. Tevin's a bit of alright. Tevin: Brenn's more than a bit of alright, Vanna. He's a tiger in the sheets.
Vinya: I'm writing my next vlog reviewing the new Beauty School Dropouts album. You do time travel, right Vanna? How long does it take this 50s retro trend to freaking end so I can play electro music in public again? Seriously people, it's 2034, GET OVER IT!
Alec: Actually, Tevin, if you think of yourself as a "Good Guy," then you probably don't wanna worry too much about whether we like you or not. Amy, Charlie, you think we should've started out with the fact that we're drug dealers and Amy's a serial killer? Amy: We're talking about that right now, why would we have "had to" say anything earlier? It's not like we've hurt anyone from their worlds. What's the big deal? Oh, and by the way Vinya, you got a problem with 80-something year old music? My favorite song is 150 years old, and I sure as hell hope that people still like it 150 years from now. ... Come to think of it, Brenn and Tevin, can I watch sometime? Alec: ... I would assume not? Boss, would you want a straight guy watching you with another girl? Charlie: I am not getting involved in this. Amy: OK, fine. Brevinn - has anybody ever called the two of you "Brevinn"? - you seem to have a better grip on running away than I did as a kid. I wish you the best, and good luck! Alec: Isn't that the same thing? Amy: ... No? ... Not unless you're speaking English?
Vanna: Good luck, Brenn and Tevin. I hope your new life together goes as planned, you're obviously very fond of each other. I'm not judging. Although that last comment, I could have done without, Tevin. I don't mean to sound like Miss Annis (sorry - that's our Headmistress) but really. I mean, I'm OK because I was raised in the 21st century, but if any of my friends saw it, it would be really awkward having to explain. Things are different here. They're all sheltered. Sorry, Vinya, but I don't do time travel very much. I grew up in the 21st century, and now I live in 1935. I've never been to 2034, is it nice? My dad's been to all sorts of times, but the latest he's been is 1988. That was where he met my mum. We went to Ancient Rome in the summer hols, though, and that was jolly nice. My dad's such a sport, I only met him before the hols. Sorry, I'm rambling, I do that. I don't know when the '50s trend will end (although that sounds cool), but don't let anything stop you playing the music you love. I plan on taking my guitar anywhere I go. I've been parted from it for too long.
Thomchan: In the archives we have songs from over a thousand years ago, but I am neither a musician nor a singer. You are humans, aren't you? Do you come from Ancoramance? Your way of talking is unfamiliar to me.
Amy: 2 and a half hours??? Where is everybody! I thought we were having fun with this! Charlie: Oh God, peace and quiet. Somebody save us. Alec: Hey, Thomchan! Me and my friends are from Earth, is Ancoramance another name for that? Or are you talking about somewhere else?
Vinya: Hey Amy, welcome to my life. You think waiting two hours for Lemming to get out of class is hard? I've been on hold all semester! C colon backslash BORING! Oh, and I have no problem with old music. When I DJed, I specialized in retro 2010s setups. Nina: Don't get her started on the vintage AutoTune unit. Just don't. Vinya: Yeah well I never get to USE that unit anymore - or the old pegboards - because the poodle-skirt crowd thinks they're "fake sound". Never mind how much distortion you get by pushing an audio signal through a period-specific 1963 analog amp. Oh, and Vanna, 2034 is awesome - as long as you don't mind all the bobbysoxers making fun of you for having glow-in-the-dark hair like we did in the 20s. Oh, and also you have to like student loan debt - and inflation.
Amy: Holy shit, Vinya, you are a fucking genius! 1960s analog distortion is exactly as fake as 2010s digital auto tune! My parents are going to be so pissed if I ever tell them that Anyway, if you want to use your "old" auto tune - I was born in 1995 BTW, so it's really weird calling that "old" - and other people don't want you too, then who gives a shit? I'm sure people would've gotten mad at me if I'd ever gotten caught as the Richmond Ripper, but that didn't mean I let them stop me from doing it! Do you really want to let other people dictate your entire life to you knowing that there's people like me in the world? Alec: And if you need a place to start, BlutEngel is one of the greatest electronic bands of all time. You should listen to "Children of the Night," "Engelsblut," and "Angels of the Dark" first, are you fluent in both English and German by any chance? Amy: I just got finished with a Chaotic Evil monologue, and you're giving instructions for what music they have to start with? Alec: I'm Lawful, I had no choice. Amy: ... Oh, you're good. Alec: You take that back!
Thomchan: We are all made from earth. And become earth again after we die. ... At least now. It was different in the old times. I have been told Ancoramance is a city at the ocean. And that the ocean is like a very, very large lake. So large that you have to build wooden boats to cross it. You can't simply walk around. Is that true? Have you ever been on a boat crossing the ocean? I always love hearing stories! I hope, one day I will be able to go on a great adventure myself, but for now I need to finish my studies.
Vanna: Wow, Thomchan, that sounds so cool! I've only been on a boat twice, and that's when I was going home to India in the hols, and coming back to school. How old are you? I'm assuming you're young, if you're studying. What are you studying? I'm fifteen, and I'm a witch, but before a witch begins her magical education, she has to finish her normal education first, so I'm studying Maths and History and all the rest. I only actually found out I was a witch last summer. That was jolly queer. Vinya, can you really get distortion that topping from a 1960s amp? I'll have to try it! I'm sure I can get one if we go to the '60s. I'm sure Mum wants to go there again. She went with Dad before they were married and she dragged him to see the Kinks rather than the Beatles, but her favourite song, "Lola", hadn't been released yet. She said me learning to play it made up for it, though. Can you play an instrument? I've just realised that we're a hundred years apart. I'll come and visit you. I've just realised, Brenn and Tevin, that I've never met a gay couple before. Well, not gay men. There was a frightful scandal a couple of weeks ago when Virginia Enderby and Henrietta Hope in the Lower Sixth (I'm in the Upper Fourth) were caught kissing in the linen cupboard, and everyone in the Fourths (except for the new girls) thought that Virginia was Virginia Appleby, who was our Form Pree last year and was terribly popular. There's also our art mistress, Miss Juniper (who is quite my favourite, even though I don't much care for art), who managed to get Miss Annis to let Ginny and Henry off - not even telling their parents. She has a "friend" who comes into school sometimes to cover lessons and help with the accounts. They share a flat. And some of the Junior girls have pashes on me, which is a bit different, though. My friend Jasmine says that it's simply ripping, and that she's superlatively jealous, but I think it's quite frightening, and more than a little queer. Who actually wants to carry an older girl's satchel and then looks disappointed when they refuse? I let them do it, because I like kids, but I still feel bad.
Vinya: The distortion's not bad from the old amps, but if they want clean, natural sound - they really should go digital. But heaven forbid anyone in Brill culture EVER listen to ANYTHING digitized. I play piano, but mostly I play SlamBoard when I perform - which...yeah...I'll explain that later. Anyway, if you're in India in the 1930s, say hi to my great-grandfather - he should be about 15. His name is Sheetalprasad Jain, and I think by that point his family has moved out to Kohima. My Dad said it was because the British needed bureaucrats to work up in the Naga Hills District.
Nina: V, I'm really starting to worry about these people... Sinead: Ms. Constantinos, you are aware that the editor's office has a direct line of sight to your computer screen, right? Nina: Oh, I just remembered that I have some work to do on that story about the new panda cub at the National Zoo. *Nina has left the conversation* Vinya: While we're on the subject of witches... Sinead: Watch it, Ms. Jain.
Alec: Should we maybe start a second "Villains" Chatroom for leaving the Good and Neutral crowd alone? Amy: Probably a good idea. Sinead, you coming with us? Alec: What makes you think Sinead's one of the bad guys? We don't know anything about her except that she runs a tight ship? Amy: Exactly! Nina wasn't hurting anyone, why'd Sinead want to stop her? Alec: Maybe because Nina's at work and Sinead's the boss? If Charlie told you to stop playing Civilization III and get back to ... *work*, you'd do it right? Because Charlie's The Boss? Charlie: I wish.
Vanna: Oh, no! It's so lovely having such a mix of people here! I met a serial killer once. It was quite terrifying. He's in custody now, though. Nina, Vinya, I do hope you come back. I'm supposed to be doing prep, but I made sure to finish it all. Vinya (if you're still reading), I'll look out for him. I'm in Kashmir, though, and I don't know how close or far away that is. We're British. Dad was born in Devon in 1746 and Mum was born in Norfolk in 1967. They got married in 1852 in a nice little country church in Yorkshire and then settled down in our house in 1918 because they thought that that was a good time to raise a child. I was born in 1920, but for a long time I thought I was born in 1999. Jolly peculiar if you ask me.
*Sinead has left the conversation* Vinya: Why does she always do that? *Nina has entered the conversation* Nina: I'm starting to think she's more of a Lawful Neutral. Vinya: Dragon Lady's psycho-secretary? No way! Nina: Just a hunch. Vinya: Why are you even in here? Nina: She just left the executive suite with a stack of those old paper files she always carries around. Vinya: Anyway, Vanna, yeah - Kohima would be a bit of a hike for you
Vanna: I suppose it would. I'm at school most of the time, though, which is near Nottingham. What were you going to say about witches?
Vinya: Oh...nothing....I would never use a word like "witch" to describe a my editor's psychotic minion...no... I meant to use another word - one that rhymes with "witch." My mistake. Nina: Really, V?
Thomchan: Good evening, all you... floating souls. I'm sorry that I didn't answer right away, but I had to look up many of the words you used and I still don't understand everything. Vanna, I am confused. The dictionary and the book about human culture that I found say, that a "witch" is a female magic practitioner who uses her talent to "make milk go sour, lifestock infertile and men impotent". Why would anybody blessed with the Gift do that? Our Gifted do the exact opposite: They encourage life and growths. Also, you seem quite friendly. Not like the persons described in the book. I wasn't even aware there were Gifted among the humans, too. Is that common in Ancoramance? If I was magically gifted, I would love to attend the academy, but unfortunately I am not. Just like us monks and you "witches" they receive a broad education in many arts and sciences. But then they start training their Gift while we continue our studies. I am 24 and will soon start my mission if the council is pleased with my accomplishments. I have not yet decided what I am going to do in particular, but we all aid our people with our wisdom in one way or the other.
